Swimming with the possibilities

A few messages ago, I wrote about maybe visiting S and T during the first full week of June, just after S's birthday. I said, "Who knows what may ensue? My naughty mind swims with possibilities ... "

Yesterday, I got a note from S. "So cool that you will be able to make it down on the 8th!" she wrote. "It will just be wonderful to be able to spend time with you!"

She continued, "You are welcome to stay with us, as long as you don't mind being the 3rd in a queen size bed...fine 4 fun, but scrunched 4 sleeping...and you would be in the middle."

I wrote back:

"Hmmm. I'm not sure about the sleeping arrangements. You want me to be in the middle? Do you really want me to come between you and Trisha? ;)

Seriously, I trust that you cleared this with her. Because we will have to get pretty close. Serious spooning! I tend to sleep on one side or the other, and I often wrap an arm around the person next to me. If it's OK with her, fine. She seems like a nice girl, and it will be nice to get to know her better.

I know three in a queen bed will be a bit cozy. But if I remember right, once upon a time you and I slept together on a twin bed, and it worked out OK.

In case you are wondering, I never have been in bed with two women before. Well, there's a first time for everything, I suppose. Just keep in mind that I'm 60 years old, and sometimes the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."

And at the end ...

"Yes. we will have time to talk about Freedom Fest during the visit. That will be fun, too. A lot to look forward to, isn't there? Things have definitely changed."

Yes, they have. And I'm sure she appreciates the fact that I remained a good friend of hers, even after she decided to return to her husband and it became obvious that we wouldn't be lovers again for a long time. She gave it a good try, too--about four years.

This year's FreedomFest marks the fifth anniversary of that fateful day when we first met. What happened is that I was in a big tent by myself (my first time at FF), and later she and a girlfriend drove up to FF, but they didn't bring a tent. They were planning to sleep on the ground, but there was a threat of rain overnight. (We did see distant thunder and lightning, but it never got to FF.) Anyway, I told them they could stay in my tent, since I had plenty of extra room. And then ... things happened.

She just wrote back:

"Trisha is fine with the sleeping arrangements. We will both very much enjoy growing closer to you ...

Yes, things have definitely changed...for the better! It will be so good to be able to snuggle with you again!"

****

We finished up the paper during the day today. No more work for two days--the two days when Phil will be up here with his GF. I'll be back at it early on Memorial Day morning, as our visitors shove off for the long trip home.

They were to leave this evening and booked a room in Mackinac City overnight. We talked on the phone last night: They were planning to go somewhat out of the way (via Lansing) to beat the heavy northbound traffic on I-75. So I have been following the traffic flow indicators on Google Earth. It's mostly good, but there are some slow sections. Nothing like Chicago, though.

Janet has been working on the house today, and I'll be wrestling with the dandelions again after supper. Don't they ever give up?

Phil said he will call or text us tonight once they drop anchor.

Then, at some time around noon Saturday, he will give us a call from Escanaba, and we'll climb into the car and start the trip to Iron Mountain ... to look destiny in the eye.

(Later)

He texted me about 11 p.m. Eastern Time. They reached Houghton Lake and decided to call it a night. Will learn more tomorrow, I'm sure.

Anticipation!

Remember that commercial from years back? The thick, red, Heinz ketchup oozing out of the bottle at a snail's pace onto some unsuspecting french fries as a Carly Simon song plays in the background?

Anticipation!

That's what it's been like this week for us, as we try to prepare for our older son coming home for Memorial Day ... accompanied by a girlfriend. This has never happened before, you know, and as the final days slowly tick away, we are feeling anticipation ... along with anxiety and nervousness and excitement.

Since both of them will be working on Friday, the most recent plan is for them to leave the Detroit area that night. There is bound to be very heavy traffic northbound on I-75 into the night--the classic long weekend holiday getaway--so I hope they will be realistic about how far they will travel before they get tired and find someplace to crash before finishing the trip on Saturday.

It's about 550 miles, you know. In terms of kilometers: 885. She will get to see the Mackinac Bridge (which links Michigan's two peninsulas) for the first time ...



She might see some deer ...



She will see two- and three-lane undivided highways all the way west from the bridge (and that's half the distance) ...



(That's a file photo from last fall, by the way. Not current conditions. Except the road, which hasn't been upgraded for many years.)

When they get to Escanaba (I'm guesstimating that will be early afternoon Saturday), he will call us at home. Iron Mountain is about an hour away from both places; we will decide which unsuspecting eatery will have the honor of hosting our first encounter (unfortunately, it's too late for us to take bids). Once we meet, we'll have a snack and a long visit. From there, we will visit my mom (all of us) and then head for home.

That's the part my wife is stressing about. She is far from the world's most efficient housekeeper--let's be honest about that--and now it's finally catching up with her. She wanted to get some work done on straightening up the house last weekend and early this week. But it got hot and humid late last week and stayed that way until lats night.

It's cloudy and cooler now, but she's worried about all the housework that remains. She worked on the house Wednesday and will continue today and Friday. But she also has cats that need/demand her attention and babying. Especially her old cat (17 years old--"Mom's baby" I call her) who is very demanding and apparently needs many "kitty breaks," which is when my wife sits and holds and cuddles her. She will try to ignore the sewing machine and my computer, too. Those inanimate objects at times can be as demanding as the old cat and as impossible to resist.

All of a sudden, time is running down on her. You can ignore the clock, folks, but you can't stop time.

I'll help her out, of course. I did last night. We worked on the spare bedroom where they will be staying--removing the boxes from the new computer and printer, which somehow wound up there, and clearing some stuff away. We got a bit of work done, and we'll do more tonight.

I'm not stressing about the house. Got enough stuff to worry about, anyway. All those indefatigable dandelions, for instance. They'll get there's. Again.

I'm looking forward to meeting and getting to know her. My son has been extremely stingy with information and facts about her, aside that she is five years younger than him. So she should expect lots of questions. Inquiring minds want to know, after all.

After we finished working last night, we sat on the front porch for a while as the sun was setting, shared a Dr. Pepper and talked about it. All we want, we agreed, is for her to be relaxed and happy around us. That works both ways, I'm sure. You see, we have never been in this position before. And he's 33. 'Bout time, don't you think? Well, it's hard when you are overly shy and too prone to rationalizations.

One unanswered issue: How much should our younger son be around? Part if the time, of course, but not a lot. The main goal--of everyone--is to get to know each other. Frankly, we can be more frank and adult when he isn't around.

I'm sure we will like her. We will accept her as she is, and hope she does the same. That's the key to lasting friendships. The sad part is, we don't have a lot of time to just talk. You know, about things. About life. They're here for maybe a day and a half. On Monday morning, they're back on the road for that 550-mile drive back home, and I'm off covering Memorial Day ceremonies.

First game of the Stanley Cup finals is also on Saturday night. The DVR will have to watch it for me. I've got much bigger fish to fry that night.

Late update: This morning, he texted me a request to get some pasties for a lunch during their visit. So she will learn first-hand what this classic example of U.P. cuisine really is ...



By the way, that's how a pasty should look ... half-eaten and soon to be completely consumed.

Thoughts from an empty mind

Oof! Who turned on the heat!? Turn it off already!

Midsummer temperatures crashed into our area over the last few days. And how! Late last week, it got hot and humid, with highs in the upper 80s (31C) and humidity to match. We got to about 92 (33C) on Monday, and it's going to be hot again on Tuesday. With this kind of heat now, you have to wonder what summer is going to be like.

(Luckily, the heat will ease off in time for our visitors' arrival this weekend. Highs in the 70s and lows in the 40s.)

Last summer, it was relatively cool and dry most of the time, both days and nights, with no real hot spells or high humidity. Time will tell for this summer. Significantly, maybe, on Sunday afternoon my wife and I teamed up to wrestle the room air conditioner into position in the bedroom window ... and we used it last night.

In 2009, the AC unit never left the bedroom closet.

****

I played a part in a pair of odd incidents over the weekend.

The first came early Saturday afternoon, when my wife asked me to help her out at church. She is a member of the church's altar guild this month but couldn't find anybody from her group to help out. I said OK.

The work involved making sure hymnals were pointing the right way (have done that before), changing the hymn numbers on the sign boards either side of the altar and changing the banners hanging from the front of the altar and pulpit for Pentecost Sunday. She did some other things, as well. As promised, it didn't take very long--45 minutes, if that.

The other came Sunday night, just after I put her to bed in her air-conditioned bedroom. Each week at that time I count out my pills for the week and put them in those little segmented pill holders--my prescriptions, my daily baby aspirin and my daily multivitamin (senior edition). A normal Sunday night ritual that I want to complete before Charlie comes over to visit. Don't really want the kitty to play with the pills.

I was in the bathroom, getting everything, when I heard shouting outside. I went to the window and looked. It was after 11 p.m., and things otherwise were quiet. I turned back, but then I heard it again.

The May tradition

May is always a very busy month for me at work, and this May is living up to that tradition.

Last week was a bear, mainly because of track meets. I went to one near Iron Mountain on Tuesday. On Wednesday, I (we, actually) was right back in Iron Mountain to ride with my mom to the doctor's. On Thursday, a 60-mile drive to get photos at a regional track tournament.

After three long drives on three consecutive days, I decided against making it four for four--I didn't go to yet another regional tournament Friday afternoon. That one was a two-hour drive away--each way. The word from above is that my bosses would like me not to drive as much. After all, they pay me 30 cents a mile, and even a trip to Iron Mountain and back is nearly 100 miles. There are no short trips up here. (That's why, when I finally get another car, gas mileage will be a big consideration.)

It was cloudy with a chance of showers on Friday and highs in the 60s. But I did my time on Thursday--that regional tournament was held in bright sunshine and temperatures in the mid 80s. Yes, I wore a wide-brimmed hat, and yes, I made sure to get the sunscreen on me. But it still got pretty hot, and I ducked out in the shade of a metal building for a while.

Just for a while. For most of the three hours that the meet lasted, I was walking here and there and hither and yon, trying to follow the action and get the best pictures as several different events took place at once. A lot of guesswork is involved. That's what it's like when you cover a track meet. And me without a split personality!

Done with that; on to new things

OK, I got the post about last week's trip written and illustrated. All that was posted Sunday morning.

Now I can get back to day-to-day stuff.

First, a few new developments about the proposed trip to FreedomFest with Sheryl and Trisha.

During our drive to Marquette on Thursday, I talked to Janet about it, and she said she doesn't necessarily have to visit her sisters over the Fourth of July. It can be a different week. As long I drive her there and back, she'll be content.

That sounds like a deal to me. It would eliminate a lot of extra driving and several criss-crosses of Wisconsin.

Having Sheryl and Trisha go part of the way and staying with Annie apparently is a no-go. There has been a bit of a falling out between Sheryl and her, so she doesn't think they could stay with her in Wautoma. That won't be necessary, anyway, if I don't have to drop off Janet in Ladysmith.

As for the cargo space problem, Janet suggested that I rent a minivan in Oshkosh and leave my car behind there. That idea has pluses and minuses. On one hand, I can take everything we need, no problem. On the other, that's extra expense (daily rental fee plus mileage for a 260-mile round trip) I don't want to pay. Besides that, my own car, which is thriftier and which I am more used to, has to be left behind.

Of course, we could also get a different car. I am trying to get Janet in close proximity to a Honda Fit. They have a blue one in Ashland, WI, and that's the color I'm hoping to get. That's a new one, and I'm hoping to avoid new if I can. Still, if she sits in a Fit again and goes for a ride in it, it won't be a hard sell.

Time, as they say, will tell.

Meanwhile, it's Monday, and the computer guy is in close proximity. That's good; I need to talk to him.

Last week, David gave me his desktop computer unit. It won't run. It seems inert, except for a flashing green light in back, and I suspect the power supply has gone on it. A simple repair, but I don't know to do that. He does.

Very nice weather is on tap for this week. Highs in the mid 70s and mostly sunny. I have two regional track tournaments late in the week, though I don't know if I will be able to get to both of them. Tuesday, another track meet with both local teams. Wednesday, drive to IM again and ride with my mom to the doctor. Sounds like I'm going to be putting a few miles on again this week.

Ancient scrolls and angel wings

We had been talking about a trip to southern Wisconsin for some time. My wife had heard about the Angel Museum in Beloit a year or so ago, and we made tentative plans to visit the next time we were near Madison. But we didn't get down there in '09.

Over the winter, she learned about a Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit at the Milwaukee Public Museum, and she wanted to see it. But she thought it would be there during the summer. Suddenly, a month or so ago, she learned the exhibit would close in early June. We had to move up our travel plans.

We moved them up to a week ago. We left on Thursday and went by way of Iron Mountain so we could visit my mom. We were there for about an hour and a half.

Then, it was all driving until we reached Oshkosh, where we visited S and her girlfriend. We took them to the Golden Corral and treated them to dinner, buffet style. All of us ate well. In between, S told me about the situation with her husband over the last months and years--they are separated now. I'm not going to go into it, but she told me things I wasn't aware of before (but had suspected).

She and the GF are now living in the top floor of the house and paying half the household expenses--otherwise, she said, he would not be able to afford to keep it (he lost his job). I hope to visit them from time to time, but the next trip won't be until June, after the spring sports seasons end. I got a picture of them outside the restaurant, which I gave the Photoshop Elements treatment ...



After about two hours, we were back on the road, heading south to Milwaukee's northwest side. Along the way, we passed a windfarm near Fond du Lac. Try to count all the turbines. It was late in the day, with daylight fading, but you can see many of them turning in the wind ...



We found a motel for the night, and Friday morning we headed off to downtown Milwaukee and the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit at the museum. Since I used to live in Milwaukee, I was somewhat familiar with how to get from here to there. But that was many years ago, so I planned ahead. I printed out Google Maps that showed which exit to take, which street to turn on and where to park. I was all ready. I put the maps in a safe place on my desk in the computer room at home.

That's where they were ... on my computer desk, while we were in a motel room about 200 miles away. Luckily, I had brought my laptop along and reviewed the route in the motel room before we left.

Crowded kitchen

My goodness, it's been cool this week! Today the sun was out but we never got to 50 degrees, and a cool wind blew out of the north. When is it ever going to warm up???

Oh. I just checked. We're forecast for 70 on Saturday and most of next week.

****

I haven't finished the story of our trip to southern Wisconsin last week. It's 95% done, but I have to choose and edit the pictures.

First, though, we had an adventure this week. Yesterday (Thursday), I took my wife to a Taste of Home cooking show in Marquette.

It's the third time we have gone to such an event, and I think we both rate it as the third best. Not because of the content of the program but because of the location. It was held in a middle school auditorium, and all the seats were very close together. Made for middle school kids, not oldsters like us. Aisles were narrow. So when you sat down in the middle of a row, there you stayed. Unless you really had to go ...



At previous Taste of Home shows we have attended (one in Escanaba and one at the dome in Marquette) there was a lot more room--aisles and seating alike. They had vendors along the walls with tables of different foods or utensils or other kitchen products on display, and you walked around before the show to see what you can see and register for what you can win. Here are two 2007 pictures. Compare ...





None of that last night--there was no room for it. The only vendor I could detect was the Taste of Home staff, selling the various cookbooks they had on sale. But that table was at the front of the auditorium, in a corner, and it would have been very difficult to get to. I bet their sales were well below average.

They had a number of drawings (bags of groceries, cookbooks, appliances and other kitchen goodies), but neither of us won anything.

The Taste of Home presenter was very good and witty. She had to be--when she was doing her first recipe of the night, for a guacamole dip, she cut open the avocado and discovered it was going bad. Ewwww! Later, she was making a sorbet in a blender, but the base of the blender wasn't on properly, and when she put the goodies inside, they leaked all over the table.

Live on TV--they had a little TV camera mounted, pointing straight down at the food preparation area, and the image was projected on a big screen behind her. That's how they did it at the other shows, too ...



So the show was good ... but the sponsor (the Marquette newspaper) gets low marks for going cheap on the location. Charge people $2 more and get a decent venue, for goodness sake! (Tickets were $10 per person.) The show itself was its usual high quality. The Taste of Home staff does a good job.

Regardless, the bottom line is that my wife really enjoyed the show. Even if we didn't win anything. And that's the bottom line for me. We got back home at about 11 p.m.

I think that's the end of our travels for a few weeks (outside of the routine trips to Iron Mountain to visit my mom; we're probably going to visit on Saturday). My schedule is going to be pretty busy for the next few weeks, what with the end of spring sports and my son's visit over Memorial Day. After that, maybe we can gave a little fun.

****

As for the saga of the southern Wisconsin trip ... that's coming soon.

Back and busy again

We are back from our trip to a pair of museums in southern Wisconsin.

Everything went well, but because of work and other distractions (new phone, hockey playoffs), I have had a hard time simply finding time to write everything up.

I did start a post about the first day of the trip and the Milwaukee museum, but I got bogged down halfway through. Have to get back to that. The trouble is, there's track meets now and Little League games, and my lawn badly needs to be mowed, and I have to take my wife to the store, and Thursday we're heading out of town again (a Taste of Home cooking show in Marquette; we aren't staying overnight).

Too much stuff. Too little time. Sound like a familiar phrase?

All things come in time. I'll try to have the story of the trip written in a day or two. Or three. Or over the weekend. Life happens. Gotta deal with it.

I've also got to deal with something unexpected. Since Betty isn't coming down to the Midwest for FreedomFest this summer, I had been planning to go there by myself. We were going to work it like we did last summer: I would drop off Janet at her sister's place near Ladysmith and then drive down to FF. They would enjoy a few days together while I was away.

Yesterday morning, though, Sheryl wrote me. She said she was looking forward to seeing me again. And she continued: "Just a thought...It would be nice if you could take us with you to the Sweetwood gathering in July. Trisha has never experienced anything like that, and it would be wonderful to camp with you again."

I haven't replied yet. Not sure. 1. How can we swing this with Janet's trip to her sisters? 2. What about my small car? Can we travel light? Really light?

I talked with Janet last night. She suggested they get a ride part of the way. Sheryl has a friend (Annie) who lives in/near Wautoma, which is near I-39. That might make the journey simpler.

Gotta work with Google Maps for a while, too. More studying. The funny part is that I raised that same idea (FreedomFest) a few months ago with them, and Sheryl said they may be going to Annie's place to shoot fireworks (along with other stuff) over the Fourth.

OK, Google Maps tells me Ladysmith to Wautoma to LaFarge is 282 miles and 5:23 of driving time. Iron River to Oshkosh to LaFarge is 317 miles and 6:34 on the road. Maybe I shave a few miles here or a few minutes there by changing the route, but that gives me a basic idea of the time and distances involved.

My car is another matter. One person + camping gear--that's easy. Two and camping gear: We made it work last year, with Betty's stuff. Three people and the gear? Is that too much to ask? Is it time to start thinking seriously about a new car?

For what it's worth, I have been looking online at used fairly new Honda Fits available in Wisconsin. Maybe it's time to click this up a notch or two in importance. I can make the Mazda last longer--I had talked about reaching 200K next year (we're at 181K now).

But nothing I can do will make the Mazda any bigger or add more cargo room. Is it finally time?

Two close encounters

We got back from our trip this evening. I'll write about the main events--the museum visits--later. But before too much more time passes and the details start getting fuzzy, I want to write about the visits to Sheryl and her girlfriend, Trisha, Thursday afternoon and also the PolyOut meeting I attended in Madison Friday night.

I had planned the visit in Oshkosh to take Sheryl and Trisha out to supper and also so I could meet Trisha and "talk about things" with Sheryl. Trisha is a nice woman from Alabama, slightly heavy-set, and I'm guessing she's about 50. Pretty face and beautiful dark hair. Heavy Southern accent; she was living in Alabama when she met Sheryl, and she said she has lived in that region all her life.

First, we had to figure out a problem with Scott's DVD player, which wasn't sending a signal to his TV. It's complicated by a cable box. Eventually, Trisha figured out the problem, and the four or us (me, Janet, Sheryl and Trisha) were on our way to Golden Corral's big buffet, at about 4:45 or so.

Sheryl and I sat across from each other, and she explained the overall problem.

Scott has had a drinking problem for years, she said, and it has been getting worse lately, to the point of blackouts and passing out. When he gets drunk, he gets verbally abusive, and two of them have many differences. On top of that, she said, he looks at porn a lot, and she doesn't like that, especially when joins her in bed after. She thought adding another woman to the household would make bed more exciting for him without the porn.

I knew that Sheryl had left Scott before, a month or two after she first met me in 2005. She was gone about six months, first in Wisconsin and later in Ontario. I remember that well--I visited her twice during that time. What I didn't know is that she had also left him before she met me--a year or two earlier, when she went to Washington. Since she returned from Ontario, they have been together four years. Now they are separated a third time.

About the drinking, she said he was better when the kids were young and in the house. I think she said he stopped drinking entirely for a time. But after Art (the youngest son) graduated and left the house, things got progressively worse.

Through it all, she said, Scott has consistently denied that there are any problems, either with drinking, with porn or with the marriage.

She said she was so happy when Trisha returned from Alabama. There was so much stress while she was gone, she said, that she was having several panic attacks a day.

Now that she is living apart from him, she is hoping to regain her health, meditate more, give up smoking and go back to a vegetarian diet.

That's most of it. We were at Golden Corral about 1 1/2 hours or so. I drove them back to the house, we had a few last hugs, and then we left for Milwaukee.

We stayed on the NW side of Milwaukee, went to the museum the next morning, spent three hours there and then drove to Madison, where that poly meeting was held at 7:30 p.m. Friday. Our motel was on the NE side of Madison, and the meeting was close to downtown and the state capitol. The rain that had fallen much of the day had subsided, but there was still drizzle and low clouds.

The meeting was held in a mini-mall, in the local GLBT outreach office. It was a large room with bookcases along the walls and furniture in the middle for reading and discussions. I think there were up to 15 people at the meeting--a bi group was meeting in a back room.

The official topic was "Being poly in a monogamous world." At first they were talking about things like not being able to use "couples" specials at restaurants (when three are eating together). Then it turned to more serious matters like advance directives, personal representatives and power of attorney. Laws are made on the premise that there is a single spouse--and with poly couples, that isn't always the case. Parental matters with schools were also discussed.

Before long, I had to jump in with my experience up here. How many of you have lived in a very small town with very narrow minds? I talked about how I stay deep in the closet up here. That led others to talk about their small-town experiences. One woman is from Sayner, WI, which is was far north in Wisconsin, not too far from us. Now she lives in Madison and is happy. She talked about the atmosphere in small towns. A man talked about his experiences in Arkansas and the fear he occasionally felt.

Others talked about how they have to carefully hide a major, important part of their lives from nearly everyone else, how they are concerned about their jobs and their livelihoods if the word gets out to the wrong person, about concerns about their families, their children and family members who just don't understand and can't accept something different from the life they have lived.

Many noted how similar this is to what gays and lesbians have to deal with. Others noted that there's a double standard at work: It's much more socially acceptable for women to be bi, than it is for men. And it's much more socially acceptable for men to have multiple partners (i.e., cheating) than it is for women. Several of the women at the meeting noted that women were behind the growth of polyamory and are its most ardent supporters, in part because it emphasizes equality and respect for both sexes and all partners.

There were other topics and talking points that I just can't remember at the moment. It's getting late, and it's been a long day. The entire meeting lasted 90 minutes; it ended at 9 a.m. I said good-bye, shook a few hands, said I hope to attend another meeting, maybe in a year or two, walked back to my car and drove back to the motel.

Oh, one other thing. While driving to and from the meeting, I passed a club that boasted it had "burlesque" inside. That one word, in large, black-on-white letters. Oh, how I wish I could have seen that! It sounds like so much fun. But it's fun only if you're with someone. I wasn't. So I just drove past and gave it a longing look. Maybe. Someday.

Three episodes

(Sitting in a motel room NW of Milwaukee. It's 7 a.m., I've slept enough, and I have some ideas I want to write).

Three episodes in my last couple days deal very indirectly and obliquely with sex. Some barely deal with the topic at all. As with most things, it's how you look at things, I guess.

Episode 1 was Wednesday. It was the last day before our trip, and I wanted to get a haircut--it was getting a little too shaggy. But when I entered the barber shop, the only person there was the barber, and he was looking to do more than look at magazines.

His place has plenty of magazines. Many of them are hunting/fishing oriented. Since I'm not into that, I usually grab Popular Science. That's a very interesting magazine. Lots of neat stuff in there. A few years ago, I saw a reference to Modblog ... and the world of self-expression hasn't been the same since.

I was in the mood for something different this time, though, and I finally reached for a magazine I used to read often but hadn't looked at very often for years: Playboy. The old joke about Playboy is, "I read it for the articles." Wink, wink.

Those articles, though, were a large part of the magazine's charm, along with practical advice to men about getting through life. Along with photos of pretty, naked girls. Lots of good fiction, too. Was that same kind of literary quality still present, decades after my last real look at its pages?

The magazine is a lot slimmer now--fewer advertisers than way back when--but the articles were still pretty good, and now I have to think about whether I want to look at Playboy more often. The article I enjoyed the most was an interview about how cities were homogenized by upscaling and renovation projects, removing the unique areas and shops and people who dwelt in the nittier, grittier areas. It removed crime, sure. But it also washed away their individuality, too.

A number of the cartoonists I remember from back when are still around, too. It's a pretty good gig, after all. One cartoon showed two guys inside a prison yard. One says to the other, "My return was based on the premise that the IRS was understaffed."

Episode 2 was yesterday evening, during our visit with S and her GF. She is a nice lady, about 50 or so (I didn't ask) with a thick Southern accent. Since she had lived in that region nearly all her life, that is hardly a surprise.

We met, helped S's husband figure out a problem with a DVD player and then headed off to Golden Corral for a big buffet supper. That's where S told me about what the situation was.

Things have been rough over there for some time. This is the third time she has left him. She left back in 2005, just after I met her--I visited her in Oshkosh and later Ontario. The first time was back before we met, when she left for Washington. Behind it was his addiction to porn and a long-time problem with alcohol. It apparently is getting worse. She said he drinks daily now and has even been having blackouts. The only way he can get better, she said, if he can acknowledge the problem. But he isn't there yet.

Her GF had to leave for about 10 days recently (getting her things in Alabama, etc.), and said that was very tense, and she had panic attacks several times a day. Now, she says, she is starting to feel better again, and she feels a healing process has started. She still wants to go to Starwood someday.

Episode 3 was last night. We had arrived at our motel, I watched the end of the Red Wings game and we drove off to a convenience store to pick up a snack. After we returning, we decided to go to the motel's pool. There were some guys around the hot tub when we arrived, but they soon left, and we were the only ones there.

So I decided to get playful. I pulled her shoulder straps down around and under her arms. A few minutes later, I moved my hand in front, hoping to lower her neckline a little. Maybe more than a little. But we were the only ones in the entire complex now. What's the harm? Who would know?

But she batted the hand away and said the hand just wanted to be naughty. Which is true enough. She said it in a funny way--she wasn't mean or angry--but I took her at her word. I didn't even attempt to play with her after that. That's the way she is, that's the way she is happiest, and I'm not going to change her. After 40 years of living with an uptight wife, I should have learned that by now.

Busy days to take off

It's been a busy week. Of course, I always have busy weeks in May. It comes with the territory. May is, by its nature, a busy month for us.

And if you take two weekdays off to take your wife to visit museums, you'll be scrambling the way I am, too. I've been trying to finish stories for a special section and get as up-to-date as I can on my usual weekly work. On Thursday morning, we hit the road, heading south to Oshkosh and Milwaukee, then west to Madison and Beloit, then back home. Three days and two nights on the road. Lots of time on the road. Our first long trip this year, but certainly not the last.

By the time I get back, the Red Wings' season may be over. They are trailing San Jose 3-0 after an overtime loss last night, and I don't see much reason for hope. Shaky goaltending, bad special teams play, bad penalties, turnovers ... it all adds up to the Wings' season ending maybe as soon as Thursday night. But I suspect they will have one more good game for the home fans Thursday night. After that, the end probably comes Saturday night in San Jose.

While I'm a Wings fan, I'm not terribly sad about it. I cover sports too much to get emotionally involved. Ninety-five percent of the time, I have found, the better team wins, and that's the case here. All things considered, it may be best for the Wings' players to have a longer summer than normal so they can come back strong next season.

I wanted to get some stuff written before I go, and I'm trying to remember it all. There's just been a lot of pressure today, what with trying to get everything finished (along with getting a haircut, which I did). Maybe the pressure squeezed the memory out of me. That's par for the course, too, just before a trip out of town. It's always very busy.

One bit of news is that I'm getting a new phone. I went to the Verizon store in Iron Mountain Tuesday (before getting photos at a tennis match and then a track meet) and ordered the new HTC Incredible. No, really, that's its name. I went into the store expecting to get a Motorola Droid, which uses the new Android operating system. The salesman showed me the Incredible, let me play around with it for a while, and I decided to get that one instead. Both phones are both pretty good, the cost was the same, and in three months both will be outdated, anyway. So no need to worry.

I couldn't take it home; the Incredible just came out last week, and they have to back-order. So I won't get to play with it for about two weeks. (I did download a PDF manual, though, to start the learning process.)

I originally wanted the Droid because it has a slide-out "real" keyboard, and I was wary of touchscreen keyboards with my big fingers. I'm not exactly a teenage girl, you know. But at the store, I got a chance to work with it for a while and finally decided I could deal with it. There will be frustrating times, I'm sure, but my history is that I can learn new stuff fairly quickly. As I recall, I had a little trouble with my Blackberry Pearl, too, at first. Today, no problem.

Tonight, I have to get things lined up for our trip. Get the laptop and camera packed up, get some clothes set. I think I'm OK on money; that's not a big concern, anyway, since I'm using debit cards so often. I swipe the card, and that takes care of gas or a meal or whatever.

As I wrote before, the trips are mainly so my wife can see two museum displays she is interested in. But I have two personal highlights planned. On Thursday, in the late afternoon, I will visit S and her girlfriend--we'll take them out to supper (an early supper) before continuing on our way south. With my wife along, the conversation may be a bit restrained. Well, we'll see.

After Friday's visit to the Milwaukee Public Museum, we head west to Madison. We could have gone directly to Beloit (our Saturday destination), but a poly group holds its monthly discussion meeting on the first Friday night--why do you think I chose this weekend? It's in downtown Madison.

After being a member of their Yahoo group for several years, this is the first time I'll be able to go to one of their meetings. It's a monthly meeting on various poly topics--don't know what the topic is on Friday.) My wife will stay at the motel; the meeting is 90 minutes long, and then they go out for coffee later. I don't do coffee, but I may tag along. Maybe they'll have ginger ale or something.

On Saturday morning, we go south to the museum in Beloit, look around there for a while, and then start the long drive back north. Weather conditions should be coolish this weekend--the heavier jacket will be in order. I hear they may even have snow showers up here, while I'm gone.

I won't miss it.

A quickie trip

I must have an a premonition about yesterday. I didn't think we would be going anywhere. We hadn't talked about going anywhere. But somehow I had a feeling things would change.

They did change, too. Shortly after noon, my wife talked about wanting to go out of town. This time, the destination was Rhinelander. Basically, we grabbed our jackets and jumped in the car. I shaved first, and we both put on different shirts, but we were gone within minutes. Talk about spur of the moment!

We had lunch in Eagle River and then stopped at a number of places in Rhinelander. First up was Menard's (a home center store, if you don't know). She wanted some edging for an upcoming garden project, and I wanted to look at cordless electric mowers. We have a cordless mower now, but it's getting old, and maybe it's time to look into a replacement.

From there, I detoured to two auto dealerships (Toyota, Honda). I wanted to look at (get brochures for) a pair of cars I may wind up getting someday. Maybe. Don't know. It's a lot of money, and there is no reason for me to hurry into a decision. After all, the Mazda only has 180,000 miles on it. By this time next year, it could hit 200K ... if I stay with it that long. Not sure. And if I do, I'm thinking more and more about taking "the used route" again.

Next up was Fashion Bug (where my wife bought two blouses) and ***-Mart. She wanted to get some fabric, and I wanted to look at smartphones. I'm getting very interested in Android phones, and one of them may be in my future. They are much faster than the Blackberry Pearl I use now, with a bigger screen, and they have an actual keyboard (as does the Pearl). The virtual keyboards that are on most smartphones today are very challenging to my fat fingertips. Also, the Android has many apps that run fast, many of which are free. I'm especially looking at RadarNow. I'd love to have that one ... and that one's free, too.

No more stops to make, but we had one more highlight on the drive home. It's 60 miles from Iron River to Rhinelander and 60 miles back (honest!). The first 50 miles were routine. We were on the two-lane state highway, M-73, when we saw a black shape at the edge of the woods on our side of the road. I took it to be a bear. A lawn ornament-type bear that was holding one paw up in the air. Maybe it was a wooden cutout

But as we got closer, the wooden cutout dropped his paw, turned around and ambled back into the woods. It seemed to be an adult-size bear. We laughed because earlier, as we were about 20 miles into our trip south, I noted that I forgot to take my camera along. She said, "So this is the day we see the moose. Or the mama bear and her three cubs."

Of course, there wouldn't have been time to get a picture of this bear--within five seconds of the moment we first saw him, he was gone.

There's another line we say when we don't take the camera along: "This is the day we see the moose and the wolf fighting in the middle of the road." There are both mooses and wolves in our area, but I've yet to get a photo of one.

My main thing today was mowing the lawn for the first time this year (with the old mower) and then rewarding myself with the hockey playoffs. One in the afternoon, and the Red Wings at night. They lost the first game Thursday but should be better rested for game 2, even if it's on the road. Then, on Tuesday and Thursday, they're home.

We won't be. Not on Thursday, when we head out of town for our trip to Milwaukee, Madison and Beloit. Gone three days and two nights. This afternoon, my wife and I went to the computer upstairs to order our tickets for the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Milwaukee Public Museum and then looked at the Angel Museum website. Both places had videos we watched. I also printed out maps to each destination. Just part of the normal planning for a trip when I am the pilot, co-pilot and navigator.

****

Just after having my physical lately, I had my blood test. The results came back a few days ago.

The doctor wrote: "I hope this is helpful. Please call me if there are any further questions, but essentially what I want to say is that everything looks very good."

No sign of problems with diabetes, kidney or liver disease. Electrolytes were normal. Cholesterol was 161 ("very good"). HDL was 49, and LDL was 89 ("desirable" range). The controversial PSA test for prostate cancer was right in the middle of the normal range. (I did not have the highly enjoyable "finger test" this year; we both agreed to have that done every other year since no problems have been indicated.)

The tests are a routine part of the physical. I didn't mention about getting tested for STDs, and he didn't raise the topic either. Maybe I should volunteer the idea next year.

Aficionado out of water

I would never share this news with the hoi polloi, but I recently ordered some bullfight DVDs, and they arrived in the mail a day or two ago. A guy in Canada sends them out. He has friends who records live corridas off the air and sends them to him. He makes copies of the DVDs for people who want them. It's definitely not a big bucks operation.

A niche market? This is nichiest of niches. Of course, as one who has followed cricket for years, that hardly bothers me.

Yes, I'm a bullfight aficionado. I had been curious about bullfighting for many years, especially after reading Hemingway's "Death in the Afternoon," a book he wrote about bullfighting in the early 1930s. I had the book many years.

In that book, he wrote, "The bullfight is not a sport in the Angle-Saxon sense of the word, that is, it is not an equal contest or an attempt at an equal contest between a bull and a man. Rather, it is a tragedy."

Just a year or so, I noticed some bullfight DVDs were available on eBay--about bullfighting and great matadors of the past. I bought two different sets, and this time I bought DVDs of actual bullfights, as carried on Mexican or Spanish TV. The quality is what I get from my DVR: about the best quality you can expect from analog TV.

The first disc I decided (randomly) to watch was good quality video, but the quality of the bullfighters left a lot to be desired. The fans at Plaza Mexico must have thought so, too: they whistled when some of the fights were over. Especially an older guy (graying hair and smoking a cigar when not in the ring), who looked clumsy in the ring. He got gored (lower thigh) by his third bull and was carried out to the clinic. The other matador in that corrida was much better. Younger, and he seemed to know what he was doing.

As far as I can tell, nearly everyone, animal rights believer or not, is aghast at the existence of bullfights. No, it's not a sport. The outcome is known in advance; the bull will die. Even if he trots out of the arena, he is killed out of the sight of the spectators.

But is this kind of death sadder or less dignified or less real than what happens in a slaughterhouse, where thousands of cattle are killed daily? Is it any worse a fate than that of the cattle raised by the local 4-H kids and sold at auction during the county fair? If you eat meat, it requires the killing of cattle. Every Big Mac requires the killing of cattle. I'm pretty certain that some bullfight opponents are not vegetarians.

All the same, they are passionately against bullfighting, going against the Spanish (and Mexican) cultural roots of the event. Early this week, I read an online article about a well-known Spanish matador who was badly gored in Mexico. Some readers who commented on the story were quite pleased with his injury. Serves him right, they seemed to be saying.

There are religious and moral and philosophical and cultural overtones to the bullfight that I won't get into here. The bull has a long, long history in mythology and in early religion.

In today's Spain, it is a cultural event, like the opera. In opera, you know how the story is going to come out--but you go to see how the artists interpret the story in their performance. Those who go to bullfights know what's going to happen--the story follows the same script every time. Age-old traditions dictate the music played, the costumes, the procession, the dedications.

The matador only a short time, 15 to 20 minutes. to fight and kill the bull. Once inside the ring, the bull can learn a lot quickly. The matador has to hope the fight is over before the bull realizes he should be charging the man holding the cape, not the cape itself.

I know I won't change anybody's mind about bullfighting, and that's not my intent in writing this. I just know that I have my values. I eat meat. But I don't hunt or fish. I love most animals. But I am interested in bullfights.

Last night, as I watched one of the new DVDs, my cat was happily snoozing in my lap. Somehow, I don't find a conflict in any of this.

****

We saw our first lightning of the year recently--right after midnight. It was a little storm system moving through, dropping just a little rain on the area (nowhere near what we need). A few flashes, a low rumble or two, and then we were asleep. I don't know for sure, but I suspect I saw the peak of the "storm."

We had a better storm system move through last night about supper. Some lightning, some thunder and heavy rain for a while. Nothing scary. It washed the pollen and dust out of the air--it smells really fresh and clean out today, and the sun is back out. Beautiful day.

The second round of the hockey playoffs started Thursday night. The Red Wings lost their first game against San Jose--the second game is Sunday night. The schedule is less intense now, and I'll probably enjoy the action more, especially since it won't be consuming all my spare time.

Our trip to Milwaukee and Beloit is a week away. I have to study and print out maps before we go. No travels planned over the weekend--at least not yet. That is always subject to change.

I've learned that my wife has decided we are going to a nephew's wedding in mid-June, in Eau Claire, WI. That's the same weekend as the Father's Day events back here. I cover them every year. Not this year.

B is back on the road, in New York City this weekend. She's there to see the new play that her son's girlfriend's is in. Will be there over the weekend with her husband. Not seeing any poly pals this time.

She told me about her visit to the doctor a couple days ago: "This doctor started the conversation by asking if I was in a monogamous relationship. Oh my goodness! I had been out in the waiting room trying to figure out what I was going to say to discuss this very topic.

"She was so cool about it all. I found myself telling her lots of stuff and sharing about the poly. Anyway, she suggested I be tested once a year if I never test positive for anything, which I am certainly hoping I don't." I hope she will elaborate on that encounter.

As for that court case involving my aunt's nephew, the verdict has come down. Yes, we are going to get some money. But ... from what I interpret from my cousin's letter, I hope to live long enough to see some of it.

It could be a very long time. It seems we are in line, and among those ahead of us is the IRS. Seems he was cheating Uncle Sam, too. As my cousin observed, he was "robbing Peter to pay Paul." Quite literally--the convicted felon's first name is Paul. And my name is ...

****

I'm starting to copy over my Modblog posts over to Blogger. One by one. It takes a while, but they only cover about six months or so. Don't know how many there are. Luckily, I had done a backup before Modblog disappeared forever.

Once that is done, all that's left will be the Efx3 posts. I think all the Vox posts were copied to Blogger already, but I'll check to make sure.

By the way, I'm back to triple posting: Blogger, Efx3 and Vox. But the Blogger site has the more private stuff, the thoughts and emotions and ponderous ponderings.

Not that they're unavailable to the hoi polloi. Just hit the link at the other sites, and there you are.