When we do things, I think most of us want to do them well. Some dopes don't give a damn, but most of us do. If you are proud of yourself as a person, you want to do a good job. Well and good.
But there are times when you can be too self-critical, and it's always been a hole I fall into. Perfectionism. I know I can't be perfect, but I still have a high standard for my own work, especially my writing. Maybe that standard is too high.
You know the movies or cartoons where you see people with an angel whispering in one ear and a devil in the other? That's what it's like, but at one ear it's my rational self, and at the other is my perfectionist self.
Rational Self says: Why be so obsessed with making things so spot-on perfect? Nobody cares. I'm not writing for money--people aren't paying money and expecting value in return. So if they get what I'm trying to say, why isn't that good enough? Make my point and move on.
But then Perfectionist Self starts whispering: I can write it just a little bit better. So I read it over and edit and read it over again and edit again. And so forth. I put it aside for a while, but sooner or later I open the file again, read it over again and edit yet again. Get the picture? And of course, after revising a segment of the piece, I often decide I don't like it and try to get it back the way it was. Good luck with that!
This battle between my ears helps explain why my posts have been so infrequent for months. One, I have been busy, and I'm writing other people and I'm spending time with my wife when I can (because we both enjoy that). But also, I start writing something ... and get bogged down with the vicious circle of revisions.
The funny part is that I revived my Blogger site with the idea that I can just write for the sake of writing and get some thoughts down while they're still fresh in my mind. Rational Self liked that. But often I let the ideas get stale, and by the time I am at the keyboard and in the mood to write, my sharply focused piece has gone out of focus in my mind. The points I want to make aren't so sharp any more.
Then I get frustrated and close the file and do something else. Maybe Perfectionist Self doesn't want me to write and just play games or download music instead.
That's what happened with Blogger. In recent weeks, I started a Tumblr site, with just little short insights, just a few paragraphs long. Then I realized that was exactly my intent with the Blogger site. So inevitably, I realized, the Tumblr site will suffer the same fate--Perfectionist Self would win out sooner or later.
I haven't written there since. Blogger and Efx3 are easier to use, anyway (I find).
My letters to friends are subject to that, too. But I figure they know me and will forgive me if they aren't edited just right or make sense all the time, so I don't worry about that so much. Rational Self reminds me that I want to get the letter finished and out the door, and I don't let that get in the way. Not too often, at least.
When I read (That's another thing; I have been trying to read more books on my e-reader.), I don't let an occasional obscure or confusing passage get in the way of my enjoyment. So why can't I apply that same standard to myself?
Well, it is what it is. Life is crazy--we all know that. Try to get some satisfaction and happiness in life, however you can. However I can. Don't sweat things. It'll be OK. Even if it's not perfect.
You know what? OK is OK. I try to tell myself that, because it's true.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Walking in the woods
For over a month in mid-summer, I wasn't able to get together with K. Because of this and that--her work schedule, mainly. Then she was out of town for a few days, and met an old high school friend who was visiting from Delaware. Around the Fourth of July, the height of the local tourist season, it was very busy at her store, and she was working long hours.
But since July ended, it's been a lot different. We have gotten together several times to enjoy summer and the great outdoors. Visits to some of the area's national forest campgrounds and parks provided some indelible memories. Nothing too exotic, mind you. But to us, it was fun. It was our speed.
What did we enjoy most of all? That's easy: Walking on trails near (or around) wooded lakes. These trails are for foot traffic only--they aren't speedways for four-wheelers or other kinds of off-road vehicles. So, thankfully, no background racket of revving engines except the occasional whine of a chainsaw off in the distance. The trails are somewhat narrow and hilly in places. But they are really user-friendly, especially in late summer when the mosquitoes aren't so hungry.
This is northern Wisconsin: plenty of lakes and lots of green. In another few weeks, the leaves will turn gold and red. That's another a great time for hiking. The fun times finally end; Old Man Winter arrives sooner or later and stays for a long, long while.
But that's off in the future. During late summer we had some fantastic walks in the woods. I took my camera--maybe you would like to see some of things we saw.
What we saw were the woods ...
The woods are lovely dark and deep--even when it isn't a snowy evening. On the trail, we were by ourselves, Mother Nature our only companion. A bird's song, a chittering squirrel--they provided the commentary as we walked along. Another view in the woods ...
With so much nature around and no other humans, we got back to nature, too. The weather was warm, and we didn't need much coaxing to shed superfluous clothing. Once, we took off everything but our shoes--the better to enjoy a cool breeze on a warm day while protecting our feet from tree roots. It's no big deal to us; we both like being nude, though we're practical about it. Even when we stayed fully dressed (most of the time), our clothing was loose and light.
After a while we decided to sit down, admire the lake scenery, relax and talk quietly. Time stood still. We were in no hurry. Who would want to hurry away from this? ...
A minute or two after I took this photo, as we were talking, some other hikers came along. We said hi. They said hi. On they went.
For many, many years, K had a painted turtle for a pet. As we sat looking over the lake, she spotted a turtle, making the most of a log on a sunny day ...
During last week's walk, we saw another turtle. While this one stayed mostly submerged, it came up for a look-see ...
We saw some other wildlife, too. Dragonflies were flitting here and there ...
I wanted to get pictures of loons. We heard loons calling during our first hike but never saw any. During our second hike, we never heard a loon's call. But K saw one on the lake, far, far away. My camera was able to close the distance ...
This loon wasn't calling because it had more important things to do: fishing. It would dive below the surface and disappear for a long time. Finally, it would pop back up some distance from where it disappeared.
The loon was a good angler. Zoom in on the photo above. What do you see? ...
It was dinner time--a fish was disappearing down his throat as I took the photo.
We walked on, following the trail near a bog with a boardwalk on one side. A lovely place--that's where I got the dragonfly and turtle shots. We looked around there for some time. Who's in a hurry? We sure weren't. ...
Such a nice day. So peaceful, so pleasant. We went to a beach after our mid-August hike and swam in the lake for over an hour. The water was too cool after our early September hike, and so was the air. So we simply sat on the shore by the beach (near where the loon had his meal earlier) and looked out over the water, seeing where we had rested earlier. We talked for a while, and we sat quietly.
We will probably go on more nature hikes this fall. It will be cooler, and it could be jeans-and-jacket weather. But the leaves will be in living color, posing for my camera.
Fun times in the woods, and the show's not over yet.
But since July ended, it's been a lot different. We have gotten together several times to enjoy summer and the great outdoors. Visits to some of the area's national forest campgrounds and parks provided some indelible memories. Nothing too exotic, mind you. But to us, it was fun. It was our speed.
What did we enjoy most of all? That's easy: Walking on trails near (or around) wooded lakes. These trails are for foot traffic only--they aren't speedways for four-wheelers or other kinds of off-road vehicles. So, thankfully, no background racket of revving engines except the occasional whine of a chainsaw off in the distance. The trails are somewhat narrow and hilly in places. But they are really user-friendly, especially in late summer when the mosquitoes aren't so hungry.
This is northern Wisconsin: plenty of lakes and lots of green. In another few weeks, the leaves will turn gold and red. That's another a great time for hiking. The fun times finally end; Old Man Winter arrives sooner or later and stays for a long, long while.
But that's off in the future. During late summer we had some fantastic walks in the woods. I took my camera--maybe you would like to see some of things we saw.
What we saw were the woods ...
The woods are lovely dark and deep--even when it isn't a snowy evening. On the trail, we were by ourselves, Mother Nature our only companion. A bird's song, a chittering squirrel--they provided the commentary as we walked along. Another view in the woods ...
With so much nature around and no other humans, we got back to nature, too. The weather was warm, and we didn't need much coaxing to shed superfluous clothing. Once, we took off everything but our shoes--the better to enjoy a cool breeze on a warm day while protecting our feet from tree roots. It's no big deal to us; we both like being nude, though we're practical about it. Even when we stayed fully dressed (most of the time), our clothing was loose and light.
After a while we decided to sit down, admire the lake scenery, relax and talk quietly. Time stood still. We were in no hurry. Who would want to hurry away from this? ...
A minute or two after I took this photo, as we were talking, some other hikers came along. We said hi. They said hi. On they went.
For many, many years, K had a painted turtle for a pet. As we sat looking over the lake, she spotted a turtle, making the most of a log on a sunny day ...
During last week's walk, we saw another turtle. While this one stayed mostly submerged, it came up for a look-see ...
We saw some other wildlife, too. Dragonflies were flitting here and there ...
I wanted to get pictures of loons. We heard loons calling during our first hike but never saw any. During our second hike, we never heard a loon's call. But K saw one on the lake, far, far away. My camera was able to close the distance ...
This loon wasn't calling because it had more important things to do: fishing. It would dive below the surface and disappear for a long time. Finally, it would pop back up some distance from where it disappeared.
The loon was a good angler. Zoom in on the photo above. What do you see? ...
It was dinner time--a fish was disappearing down his throat as I took the photo.
We walked on, following the trail near a bog with a boardwalk on one side. A lovely place--that's where I got the dragonfly and turtle shots. We looked around there for some time. Who's in a hurry? We sure weren't. ...
Such a nice day. So peaceful, so pleasant. We went to a beach after our mid-August hike and swam in the lake for over an hour. The water was too cool after our early September hike, and so was the air. So we simply sat on the shore by the beach (near where the loon had his meal earlier) and looked out over the water, seeing where we had rested earlier. We talked for a while, and we sat quietly.
We will probably go on more nature hikes this fall. It will be cooler, and it could be jeans-and-jacket weather. But the leaves will be in living color, posing for my camera.
Fun times in the woods, and the show's not over yet.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
An amazing August
This is rapidly becoming a monthly bloggy exercise. Who knew it would come to this? But when you are writing several friends fairly often and watching TV with your partner, something has to get put on the side, however reluctantly. Yes, that's Dr. Dog's House, standing there on the siding.
It's not that there hasn't been news lately. It's just that there hasn't been time to put it all together for you (unless I want to cut and paste from my letters; uhhh, no).
Too much stuff, so I won't go into a lot of detail, but the last month (the month of August, more or less) has been quite eventful. None of the other months of 2011 can compare! So let me elaborate.
#1. We had expected this for some time, but now it is official: My older son and his girlfriend are getting married. They live in the Detroit metro area, and that's where the wedding will take place next April. They recently rented a hall (a suburban golf course clubhouse; remember, it's in April) that will be used for the ceremony and reception, and she got her dress already. Other details are being worked out ...
Happy news for us, since we will finally be getting a daughter (many years after I had my vasectomy). We like the girl, and they phone us from time to time--it has usually been every Sunday or Monday night. They live over 500 miles away, but the long, long journey won't be so intimidating any longer. That is because of #2.
#2: We have gotten a new car. We just picked it up just recently. The car has been in the works for two or three years, but the purchase went on the front burner this summer, and I did a lot of research on what I wanted to get--where and how I would get the best bang for the buck, so to speak.
First I was leaning heavily toward a Prius. Face it--I drive a lot, and gas mileage is important. Then, after I finally decided Priuses cost too much, even with the gas savings, I looked at a Honda Fit. I waited over a year for the brains at Honda to motivate themselves to build a hybrid version of the Fit. And they finally did--but they are selling it in Asia and Europe only. The Honda people running the company here in the States didn't think there would be a market for a hybrid Fit--or so I had read. So that prospect dried up, too.
I looked at the Chevy Cruze and the Ford Fusion and Fiesta. Then I started hearing about the restyled Hyundai Elantra and what an amazingly sharp car it is. I read and read, looked at YouTube videos, read reviews and finally decided that is the way I want to go. I'm not alone: Elantras are in such demand now that I had to pre-order it from a dealer about 130 miles away. That's what I did about a month ago, and it arrived last week. We picked it up on Friday. My wife and I agree: It's a nice car.
It's light blue. I originally wanted a dark/medium blue car, but then I thought it over again. The winters up here are pretty long and snowy, and I often drive at night or in low light conditions. The roads up here are usually poorly lighted or not lighted at all. In the end, I concluded that a lighter color would be a better way to go.So I went for light blue--blue is my favorite color, if you don't know.
And here it is ...
For the record, my 2001 Mazda Protege was retired with 203,000+ miles on the odometer. I bought it 8+ years earlier, when it had 44,000 miles on it.
The money? It came from funds we inherited several years ago from my mom and her parents. We had spent very little of it until now, aside from home repairs. Most of it is still invested. Besides, we wanted to do something special for ourselves because of #3.
#3. Early in August, my wife and I marked our 40th anniversary. Yay, us! We celebrated it very quietly and didn't make a big deal of it: We went out for a steak dinner that night at a favorite restaurant, then returned home and finally went upstairs to celebrate our special milestone in the usual way. Nothing we haven't done before, you know! ...
Earlier this year, we talked about the two of us going on a bus tour in Chicago in late July, but the tour was canceled--too few people signed up for it. Instead, we went to a quilt show near my wife's three sisters and visited them at the same time. Some of them, anyway. Two of the sisters aren't on speaking terms with each other. That's their party. We just try to stay out of the way.
As for being married 40 years, we don't think it's a big deal. Not really. All it means is that we are healthy enough to have spent 40 years together and that we were smart enough to select partners we enjoy being with and got to be best friends with. We aren't carbon copies of each other by any means and we have very different tastes, but we still like each other. We still hold hands whenever we can and enjoy watching TV or going for rides together. That's one reason why we thought about the new car--the old one was getting less and less reliable.
Of course, my wife and I made some major changes in our relationship over the years. Mid-course corrections. Nothing is ever perfect, but the changes we made removed a lot of tension between us. Neither of us is perfect or could ever be everything for each other. We worked out a solution that works for everyone. I'm still home, sleeping next to her 28 or 29 days a month. And on those other two or three days, she knows where and with whom I'm spending the night. No secrets. No mysteries.
#4. Most of those two or three days/nights this summer were with K. We had some fun times. Should I tell you about the day we went hiking around a local lake deep in the forest, when we both were barefoot down to our waist ... and later down to our ankles? ...
Should I tell you about the sudden shower or the mosquitoes tracking us down? Should I write about watching some dumb movies (about sexy hillbillies) with her and her guy at their place recently? Or the tailgate party (pizza!) we had while watching a Packers playoff game recorded last winter?
No, there's not enough space. But we had a good summer. I'm hoping to get together with N and S before long, too. But K lives a lot closer, and when you get as busy with work as I get, even a short escape is precious.
Coming up: K is having an operation in mid-September--she has had a thyroid-related lump in her throat, and they are going to operate on it. She will be recovering for two weeks before returning to work. That may lower her stress--she works at ***-mart, which is, she says, a very stressful workplace.
But our time together is happy time for K. And for me--adding K to my life is the best thing that happened to me this year ... regardless of that new car behind the house. We're only through August now, but I don't see that changing in the final third of 2011. We will meet again this week. First time since our hillbilly night, and I'm sure we will have fun.
But my wife and I still have fun, too, and I spend much more time with her. She made a quilt for the county fair, and it won a red (second place) ribbon ...
On Saturday night, we went out for a pizza, then watched that very same movie about the hillbillies. On Monday, we're talking about going out for a drive to a small northern Wisconsin zoo, where they have tiger cubs and other critters. She loves to see critters. Then, two weeks later, we're going to another quilt show.
Onwards and upwards. See? There's a lot to write about. Too much, at times.
It's not that there hasn't been news lately. It's just that there hasn't been time to put it all together for you (unless I want to cut and paste from my letters; uhhh, no).
Too much stuff, so I won't go into a lot of detail, but the last month (the month of August, more or less) has been quite eventful. None of the other months of 2011 can compare! So let me elaborate.
#1. We had expected this for some time, but now it is official: My older son and his girlfriend are getting married. They live in the Detroit metro area, and that's where the wedding will take place next April. They recently rented a hall (a suburban golf course clubhouse; remember, it's in April) that will be used for the ceremony and reception, and she got her dress already. Other details are being worked out ...
Happy news for us, since we will finally be getting a daughter (many years after I had my vasectomy). We like the girl, and they phone us from time to time--it has usually been every Sunday or Monday night. They live over 500 miles away, but the long, long journey won't be so intimidating any longer. That is because of #2.
#2: We have gotten a new car. We just picked it up just recently. The car has been in the works for two or three years, but the purchase went on the front burner this summer, and I did a lot of research on what I wanted to get--where and how I would get the best bang for the buck, so to speak.
First I was leaning heavily toward a Prius. Face it--I drive a lot, and gas mileage is important. Then, after I finally decided Priuses cost too much, even with the gas savings, I looked at a Honda Fit. I waited over a year for the brains at Honda to motivate themselves to build a hybrid version of the Fit. And they finally did--but they are selling it in Asia and Europe only. The Honda people running the company here in the States didn't think there would be a market for a hybrid Fit--or so I had read. So that prospect dried up, too.
I looked at the Chevy Cruze and the Ford Fusion and Fiesta. Then I started hearing about the restyled Hyundai Elantra and what an amazingly sharp car it is. I read and read, looked at YouTube videos, read reviews and finally decided that is the way I want to go. I'm not alone: Elantras are in such demand now that I had to pre-order it from a dealer about 130 miles away. That's what I did about a month ago, and it arrived last week. We picked it up on Friday. My wife and I agree: It's a nice car.
It's light blue. I originally wanted a dark/medium blue car, but then I thought it over again. The winters up here are pretty long and snowy, and I often drive at night or in low light conditions. The roads up here are usually poorly lighted or not lighted at all. In the end, I concluded that a lighter color would be a better way to go.So I went for light blue--blue is my favorite color, if you don't know.
And here it is ...
For the record, my 2001 Mazda Protege was retired with 203,000+ miles on the odometer. I bought it 8+ years earlier, when it had 44,000 miles on it.
The money? It came from funds we inherited several years ago from my mom and her parents. We had spent very little of it until now, aside from home repairs. Most of it is still invested. Besides, we wanted to do something special for ourselves because of #3.
#3. Early in August, my wife and I marked our 40th anniversary. Yay, us! We celebrated it very quietly and didn't make a big deal of it: We went out for a steak dinner that night at a favorite restaurant, then returned home and finally went upstairs to celebrate our special milestone in the usual way. Nothing we haven't done before, you know! ...
Earlier this year, we talked about the two of us going on a bus tour in Chicago in late July, but the tour was canceled--too few people signed up for it. Instead, we went to a quilt show near my wife's three sisters and visited them at the same time. Some of them, anyway. Two of the sisters aren't on speaking terms with each other. That's their party. We just try to stay out of the way.
As for being married 40 years, we don't think it's a big deal. Not really. All it means is that we are healthy enough to have spent 40 years together and that we were smart enough to select partners we enjoy being with and got to be best friends with. We aren't carbon copies of each other by any means and we have very different tastes, but we still like each other. We still hold hands whenever we can and enjoy watching TV or going for rides together. That's one reason why we thought about the new car--the old one was getting less and less reliable.
Of course, my wife and I made some major changes in our relationship over the years. Mid-course corrections. Nothing is ever perfect, but the changes we made removed a lot of tension between us. Neither of us is perfect or could ever be everything for each other. We worked out a solution that works for everyone. I'm still home, sleeping next to her 28 or 29 days a month. And on those other two or three days, she knows where and with whom I'm spending the night. No secrets. No mysteries.
#4. Most of those two or three days/nights this summer were with K. We had some fun times. Should I tell you about the day we went hiking around a local lake deep in the forest, when we both were barefoot down to our waist ... and later down to our ankles? ...
Should I tell you about the sudden shower or the mosquitoes tracking us down? Should I write about watching some dumb movies (about sexy hillbillies) with her and her guy at their place recently? Or the tailgate party (pizza!) we had while watching a Packers playoff game recorded last winter?
No, there's not enough space. But we had a good summer. I'm hoping to get together with N and S before long, too. But K lives a lot closer, and when you get as busy with work as I get, even a short escape is precious.
Coming up: K is having an operation in mid-September--she has had a thyroid-related lump in her throat, and they are going to operate on it. She will be recovering for two weeks before returning to work. That may lower her stress--she works at ***-mart, which is, she says, a very stressful workplace.
But our time together is happy time for K. And for me--adding K to my life is the best thing that happened to me this year ... regardless of that new car behind the house. We're only through August now, but I don't see that changing in the final third of 2011. We will meet again this week. First time since our hillbilly night, and I'm sure we will have fun.
But my wife and I still have fun, too, and I spend much more time with her. She made a quilt for the county fair, and it won a red (second place) ribbon ...
On Saturday night, we went out for a pizza, then watched that very same movie about the hillbillies. On Monday, we're talking about going out for a drive to a small northern Wisconsin zoo, where they have tiger cubs and other critters. She loves to see critters. Then, two weeks later, we're going to another quilt show.
Onwards and upwards. See? There's a lot to write about. Too much, at times.
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