Wow. May 7th. That's like [quick check of the calendar] nearly eight weeks ago. And I haven't written in all that time?
In fact, I have done a lot of writing. Just not for blogs. Mainly letters (e-mails). And no, I haven't been posting updates on Twitter or Facebook, either. You could say I just sort of disappeared from the internet world.
Today, I'm resurfacing, if only briefly. Lots of things have happened. I have to summarize parts of them, so here goes.
I was very busy with work during May and early June. Maybe too busy; maybe I wore myself down. That may have contributed to everything else.
At the same time, though, I am trying to make more time for myself, my family, the things I enjoy and the people I enjoy. The biggest event over these last eight weeks came in late May, when I picked up K and we drove to Oshkosh, to visit S and T, her girlfriend. It was a bit rushed--we were only gone one night.
The visit followed the usual pattern: I took everybody out to dinner (Golden Corral) and then we went to see the new "Pirates" movie, starring Johnny Depp--S and T are big Johnny Depp fans. From there, we went to the motel and enjoyed a nice soak in their hot tub. I drove S and T to their place for the night. The next morning, we picked them up and checked out the Golden Corral breakfast buffet. Took them back home, and then K and I left for home--I dropped her off and then continued home.
Sounds routine, right? Well, wait a minute.
I got back home Sunday evening. On Monday night, I had trouble sleeping. My body's thermostat was all haywire--I was getting hot, then getting cold. Sort of like when you come down with the flu, and that's what I thought I had.
I found out later, though, that it wasn't the flu. The best my doctor and the guy at the ER could say was that I had encountered "some virus." It wasn't contagious: That was the other big thing.
In fact, it wasn't like any flu I had before. My gums were inflamed and tender, and I didn't want to eat anything unless it was very soft. Because I wasn't eating, my body got weaker, and I was feeling more and more tired. And I had a very hard time motivating myself to do anything. Serious lethargy.
By strange coincidence, my friend N had been battling those symptoms herself--she had gotten them since my last visit, and we hadn't seen each other since--we canceled several visits for that reason. She wrote that she has been feeling down and tired and very lethargic--like she didn't want to do anything. She came down with that about a month before I did, so she had a good idea how I felt when I described it to her.
The flu symptoms (feeling hot/cold, body aches) faded away after a few days, but everything else hung on for better than a week. Finally, I saw a dentist, who prescribed some antibiotics for my mouth, and that slowly started improving my condition.
My gums feel much better now, and I am mostly eating regular food now. I am feeling a lot stronger. Example: A few weeks ago, when I was feeling sick, I tried to mow the lawn, which had gotten badly overgrown, but had to stop after doing half the back yard--my son David came over and finished it. Last week, I mowed the whole lawn by myself. I was a little tired by the end, but I finished.
The long hiatus in my sex life ended last weekend during an afternoon "nap" with my wife. (I visited K a few days before that but didn't attempt anything. She had a good time, anyway.) And, let me note in passing, that neither K, S nor T had any illnesses like mine, either before or after. So maybe did I let myself get too run down?
Anyway, I am going ahead with some long, long overdue dental work. Last week, I saw a technician who did some debridement work. I also am thinking about what the illness meant and what kind of message this is sending me.
I wrote to N: "Nothing happens without a reason: that's my philosophy, so now I have to figure out the lesson behind the sickness. Maybe it's just that I ought to drop it down a few gears and take it easy more often."
She evidently has been thinking the same thing. Her reply: "It is teaching one to slow down and take stock of the major vs. minor. It slowed down for me and got the perspective."
So that is what I am trying to do: I am trying to slow down and make more time for me and what makes me happy. Not to stress so much about work and related responsibilities. If I don't get it done, the world isn't going to end. Focus instead on my wife and family and my special friends, who have all be so loving and understanding and supportive while I was feeling ill and discouraged.
By coincidence, my wife had dental problems at the same time--she had a tooth that needed to be pulled, and also had gum problems. So neither of us felt much like eating for several weeks--maybe some noodles or pasta or some rice dish would constitute a meal--that was all.
A strange thing happened. I actually liked the smaller meals. And my wife does, too. We knew that it's better for us to eat less and cut back on the meal sizes as we get older. We're both a little overweight, and with smaller meals/portions, we can reduce calories and maybe reduce a pound or two. Cut back the wear and tear on knees, hips and ankles.
My wife had her troublesome tooth pulled last week, but while we both can eat regular food again, the portion sizes have been cut back. That means some work for her, scaling back the quantities of the ingredients. But the recipes probably date from when our two sons were living here; they've been gone for some time now. And as for the box meals we use, we can deal with leftovers, which will make some lunchtimes quicker and easier for the cook.
It's good to be feeling better again. And N is doing better, too--she is visiting family down in Illinois till the end of June. We're looking forward to our next visit, in early July.
Life is good. But I need to be smarter about how I live and take a little more time to stop and smell those roses. That's what the last few weeks mean to me. For example.
For years, I have been going down to a neopagan camp in southwestern Wisconsin over the Fourth of July weekend. This year, I decided not to go. One reason: I would have to go there by myself. And I'm not fully recovered; not yet. The trip is quite long (both in terms miles and time) and physically demanding, since I would have to set up the site by myself. It was pretty arduous last year, with two people coming along.
Instead, I am taking S and T on a different kind of campout. There is a clothing-optional site (an old farm with a pond) near where they live. S loves it, and I do, too; T has never been there. Last summer, none of us were able to get there. Too busy.
So the three of us are going there this week--two days and one night. We're keeping it as simple as we can--we aren't taking a lot of camping stuff, and we can get our meals in town.
Just taking it easy for once. Relax for a day or two. Ahhh!
