Two stupid guys

Today, Dec. 30, 2011, Christmas arrived for me.

No, I'm not Orthodox. I'm anything but orthodox.

Today, a special package arrived. I haven't opened it yet, but I know what it is. I ought to: I ordered it myself.

I will coerce my wife into giving it to me tonight. Then I can open it.

So what is it?

It's a DVD set: "Laurel and Hardy: The Essential Collection." As a big Laurel and Hardy fan, it's something I have wanted for a long, long time. But I couldn't get it for a very good reason: There was no such animal.

Back in the days of VHS tapes, they put out a few tapes tapes of L&H's comedies. But in all the years that DVDs have been around, most of the L&H comedies haven't been available on DVD. Not here in the States, anyway.

But there was a nice set available over in England and Europe: I looked on the U.K.'s Amazon store, and there it was, and it looked really good. It also looked pretty pricey, especially with intercontinental shipping. But if you're a loyal L&H fan, that won't get in the way.

I put it on my Amazon U.K. "wish list," and occasionally I would open that page and look at the price. I was tempted many times, but I held back. Someday, I told myself, the L&H collection will become available in the States. Sooner or later.

It was later. But "later" finally arrived this fall, and I finally made the order a week or two ago, after ordering the other gifts. I made sure it would be something I wouldn't ever be tempted to return.

You may know that I love most of the classic comedians from the '20s and '30s. Buster Keaton. Roscoe Arbuckle. W.C. Fields. The Marx Brothers. Chaplin. And Laurel & Hardy. The best-known comedians of today--they can't hold a candle to them. Not even close (in my opinion).

The L&H collection includes both their shorts and their feature films. None of their silent shorts, unfortunately. I've collected a few of them over the years. Someday, those will be released in a DVD set, too. I hope.

When I moved from Milwaukee to the U.P., I had cable TV for the first time, and I found a Detroit station that carried an hour of Laurel and Hardy at about 10 p.m. each night. That's how I got to first see them. It was love at first sight.

I got my first VCR about 1984, and I started recording Laurel and Hardy. I showed some of them to my dad--he had seen them before, of course, but that was a long time ago. Now he was seeing the shorts from the prime of their career, and he roared with laughter.

"Boy," he would say, shaking his head, "you have to be pretty darn smart to look so stupid." And right there, he nailed exactly why the comedies are classic. Both Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy worked very hard at their craft and paid close attention to what audiences liked. For example, think about all the times when Laurel breaks into high-pitched crying. Laurel hated doing that, but he knew the audiences loved it.

I learned about W.C. Fields first. This was when I was in high school, near Milwaukee. My dad even took me to see my first W.C. Fields movie--this would have been in the late '60s, long before even VCRs, when the Fields movies (mostly made in the '30s) were long-ago memories. Somehow, I saw a theater that was showing "You Can't Cheat an Honest Man," his circus-themed movie, and we went to see it.

I tried to return the favor with the Laurel and Hardy comedies I taped from the Detroit channel. One year, I recorded a VCR tape of Laurel and Hardy and gave it to him for Christmas. Among the things I recovered when we closed up the house after my mom went into the nursing home, I made sure the Laurel and Hardy tape came along. My dad died in 1994.

When we talked about the classic movie comedians, he would occasionally ask me: "Did you ever hear of Wheeler and Woolsey?" "Every see Wheeler and Woolsey?"

He obviously had, and just as obviously he remembered them fondly. I was in the dark. They were just names to me. Years after he died, I learned about them on the internet.

It turns out that Bert Wheeler and Robert Woolsey formed a popular comedy team in the 1930s that is mostly forgotten now. Copied from Wikipedia:

"Curly-haired Bert Wheeler played the ever-smiling innocent, and bespectacled Robert Woolsey played the genially leering “big idea” man that often got the pair in trouble. The vivacious Dorothy Lee usually played Bert's romantic interest.

"The Wheeler & Woolsey pictures are loaded with joke-book dialogue, original songs, puns and sometimes racy double-entendre gags."

Woman (coyly indicating her legs): Were you looking at these?
Woolsey: Madam, I'm above that.

Woolsey (worried about a noblewoman): She's liable to have us beheaded.
Wheeler: Beheaded?! Can she do that?
Woolsey: Sure, she can be-head.

Flirt: Sing to me!
Wheeler: How about One Hour with You?
Flirt: Sure! But first, sing to me!

Over the last few years, Turner Classic Movies has carried many of the Wheeler & Woolsey films, and I have recorded as many of them as I can. Time restraints being what they are, I have only had time to see two of them, but they were fun to watch, and I want to see the rest of them. For the sake of my dad, who loved them, and for Wheeler and Woolsey themselves. The team ended in 1938 when Woolsey, the wise guy who wore the big round goggles, got sick and died of kidney failure.

Seeing more of Wheeler and Woolsey is one of the projects I have set for myself in 2012. That and catching up with Laurel and Hardy.

Loveletter

I just wanted to write about a letter I got from K recently.

"I was thinking about us today and that when we get together, I feel young like a teenager again. I really love being with you. It was so romantic last night."

These are the words of a 59-year-old girl, writing to her (nearly) 62-year-old lover.

K and I don't get to spend as much time together as we'd like. We haven't slept together since early September. We hadn't had a date since mid November. We're both working full-time, you know. But recently she had a day off, and I knocked off from work an hour or so early to drive down her way.

It's not that we did very much. After I picked her up, we drove to a nearby department store. She was looking for Christmas gifts. She found one item, and we looked around at some of the women's clothes for a while and traded ideas.

Then we went to a McDonald's--we had coupons for a free "large sandwich" with the purchase of another. Mainly, we just wanted to sit and talk. About us, things we want to do. Places we want to go together. Experiences we want to share. We were looking back at this past summer--things we did, things we didn't get around to--and looking ahead to next year. There's six months of cold weather between then and now. But the warm weather will come back, and once again we won't have to wear layer upon layer upon layer.

Then I took her for a short ride in my car. I wanted her to try out the car's heated seats--and since it was only about +12F outside (-11C), she really enjoyed them. Especially since (as I found out later) under her jeans she only wore a pair of low-rise string panties. (She said they had reindeer on them--very Christmasy--but it was too dark to see.)

We wound up back at a city park near a lake. It was only 8 p.m., but the last traces of daylight had long since disappeared. We sat in the car and continued our talk. And we snuggled. And we played. This time we never left the front seat, and there is a large console between the seats. Eventually the car started getting cold, so I turned it on for a few minutes.

I ran the car twice to warm things up and clear the windows in the time we we were there. As the car warmed up, we just sat together and leaned against each other. Not a lot to say. We were just happy. We always are happy when we're together.

After a while, I drove her back to her place, got an update on the Thursday night football game from her guy and then started the drive towards home and my life.

Do I think about living with her permanently? Once in a while I do, of course. But I love my wife, too, and K loves her guy. We both know that you can love two people, even if you happen to be married.

And since my wife and her guy know all about us and how we feel and since they approve of us, it works out fine. The four of us have all met each other several times and have become friends.

It's amazing, isn't it? Really, a miracle. Sometimes I sit and ponder how lucky I am. How lucky we are, that our partners don't get in our way. We have problems getting together, sure, but nearly all of them are related to working full time and how hard it is to get away from our work duties and cross this distance that separates us. It's a little more than an hour each way. Now that we're in winter, we have to see whether Old Man Winter is going to be a problem. Maybe yes and maybe no.

Whatever, we will find a way. And even when we can't get together, we will write. And when we lie down and close our eyes, our spirits will leave our resting bodies and dance together in the night, in some other plane of existence. And we will both smile as we sleep and feel bathed in the warmth of love.

K ended her letter: "Bye for now. I have to get ready for bed and an early shift.

"Sweet dreams, I will be thinking of you."

Dr. Dog goes to a Gay bar

It's true. I went there. And now I'm going to tell you all about it.

In fact, this is something I have wanted to do for a long time.

OK, OK, I know this may blast away all perceptions many of you have formed about me over the years. So let me explain.

It happened a few weeks ago, in late October. I was going to cover a football game about 100 miles from home. The game was to start just after noon, and the weather was fairly good for mid autumn. A bit cool and cloudy but no rain or drizzle or snow. (Not like now. But I digress.)

I was going there by myself, so this was my golden opportunity: Today is the day I will go to a Gay bar!

Here comes the spoiler:

Open up Google Maps. Find the Keweenaw Peninsula. It's the part of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan that dangles out north into Lake Superior. You might think from its location that it's really cold and snowy and windy in winter. If so, you are 100% right.

Zoom in a bit. See Houghton? That's where Michigan Technological University is. On the opposite side of the Portage Canal is Hancock. Further north is Calumet. Follow me so far?

OK, now took straight east from Calumet. Zoom in a bit. Look all the way over to the Lake Superior shore. Zoom in a bit more. Not too far from the water's edge is a little town called Gay. You may have to zoom in again.

It was named Gay long before today's best-known definition of the word came into being. Right around 1900. Like many towns in the U.P., Gay was named after a mining firm's director. Joseph E. Gay explored the area in the 1890s and helped open the area to copper mining--mining was one of the major industries in the U.P. for generations. Today, all the mines are either closed or tourist attractions.

On this morning, I went to Lake Linden first (the site of the game), then turned onto Bootjack Road, then Traprock Valley Road and then onto Gay Road (also known as County Road 652) ...



If you want to get to Gay, you have to follow the Gay Road. Don't worry about toll booths or taking the wrong exit--it's two-lane all the way. Yes, it is paved ...



Along the way I passed Rice Lake Road and Gay Park Road. Yes, there is a Gay Park Road. If you find it, you're getting close ...



And then ...



... I was at the Gay city limits.

This is the main drag. It's called Main Street ...



Well, as you can see, it's not a very big place. Two long streets and several short ones. It isn't incorporated. Its population as of 2000 was just 60, and it hasn't grown since. The post office addresses are for Lake Linden. So don't ask what Gay's Zip Code is.

But yes, you can there get there from here. In fact, from Gay, you can get to many places. All roads lead to Gay ...



The old Gay School still stands, though it has obviously seen better days. For some reason, they call it Sherman Township, and the historical society is asking for donations to keep it up. Pun intended ...



Since we have touched on that, there is something entirely phallic in town. A 265-foot reinforced concrete smokestack from the old days. It still stands, straight and proud and tall. But it isn't attached to anything--the old boiler plant for the stamp mill that once existed in Gay is long gone.

(You can see the smokestack in the background of the "Gay" city limits photo.)

I drove around for a while, looking at this and that. I especially wanted to see The Gay Bar. That is its name. They have a website and sell sweatshirts that say "The Gay Bar" and all that stuff. They reputedly make pretty good cheeseburgers.

Then I found it. The end of the rainbow. My destination. Finally -- The Gay Bar ...



It was closed.

Fairly early in the day, you know. Even for a cheeseburger.

Nothing to do but drive back to my football game ...

Thanksgiving odyssey

Whew!

We're back home after our Thanksgiving odyssey to the Detroit area. Over 3 1/2 days, I put nearly 1,200 miles on the car. That's a ton of driving.

But it was a good trip. The weather was fine--no problems at all--and we got back home around midnight on Friday. I was able to rest for much of the weekend--most of my stories were done, and little stuff came in while I was gone. As expected.

We left late Tuesday afternoon and spent the night in St. Ignace. On Wednesday, we finished the trip to the Detroit area, stopped at the motel and then drove to my son and fiancee's apartment for dinner and a visit.

The main event, of course, was the big Thanksgiving dinner at a place out in the country--about an hour out of the city. There were about 20-25 people at the dinner including lots of kids--that was a treat, seeing the little ones around.

It was the very first time we met my son's fiancee's parents, and they turned out to be very nice. We got along well, even while watching the Packers-Lions game. They are, of course, Lions fans, and I am, of course, a Packers fan. But I am not a blind fan--I can look at my team and the other team objectively; their strengths and weaknesses. And, for what it's worth, I wore khaki cargo pants and a light blue polo shirt--"Honolulu blue" is the Lions' color. Her dad and I mostly talked about football--it's a common interest, and we seemed to think the same way, even if we root for different teams.

During the second half, as the Packers took control of the game, I took care not to gloat. It wouldn't have gone down well.

After the game ended, it was time to eat. The fiancee roasted one of the turkeys, and I had some Tom Turkey along some stuffing, cranberries, a little rutabaga, mashed potatoes and gravy. We ate well.

After the dinner (late afternoon) we drove back to the kids' place and spent the evening with them. He worked on Friday, so we had to deal with Black Friday on our own. More about Black Friday later. We did some shopping and then (about 1 p.m.) started the 500-mile drive home.

****

On this drive, the new car's nav system really showed its stuff. Usually, I am driving in areas that are fairly familiar. Not this time. For instance, the Thanksgiving Day dinner was way out in the country, and we hadn't stayed at that particular motel before. But before the trip, I stored those addresses in the nav system's memory, so they would be ready later. As a result, it got me through a totally unfamiliar area with no problem at all.

It was like that all through the trip. The nav system was very handy in finding my way through an unfamiliar metro area, finding the correct off-ramps and on-ramps on the freeways, telling me when I had to prepare for an exit off the left side of the freeway, when a roundabout was coming up. Even when a "Michigan left" was coming up.

I tell you, I wasn't absolutely sure whether I would use the nav system that much, but it sure proved to be a major blessing on this trip.

****

I also wanted to write about our Black Friday shopping trip. For six straight years, of course, we had a Friday morning date at the state football finals, so there was no time for shopping. Last year, our team lost in the semifinals; we stayed home for Thanksgiving.

We were not about to get up super early. But after a brief breakfast, we stopped at Best Buy, then Barnes and Noble and then at one of the big malls. David did all the shopping there--my wife and I only went as far as the food court, where they had a Subway.

My wife wanted to stop at a Target store, too, but we decided instead to just hit the road--it was getting late to start a 10-hour drive. But I know why she was interested in Target. First, there aren't any Targets in our area. Second, Target's pre-Black Friday TV ads.

In one, this gal was working on an exercise bike, set at maximum difficulty so she could get her thighs ready for the demands of Black Friday. And the other was a classic: The same gal was shown holding a Target print ad and screaming in ecstasy. Just hyperventilating and screaming, "It's here! It's here!"

What Black Friday special got her screaming in joy louder than she probably ever has in bed? Who knows? The ad did not reveal that little secret. Not a single Black Friday special was shown. They just showed her screaming.

I know, I know. It's just marketing. They want you to spend all your money at their store. But really!

Give love. Not things.

On the road again . . . and again

My car has been getting a workout lately. And the real workout is yet to come.

Last week, I covered the regional volleyball tournament about 60 miles away, in Baraga. The semifinal match was Tuesday, and the finals were on Thursday. We also had a big snowstorm last week. That arrived early Wednesday morning. By the time I hit the road on Thursday afternoon, the roads were bare, and the trees were beautiful ...



Then, on Friday, my younger son and I hopped in the car and drove east about 250 miles to St. Ignace for the football quarterfinal game. We hoped to arrive in time to get photos of the Mackinac Bridge by daylight. We almost made it ...





(Handheld photos, at about 1/4th of a second exposure. Try holding a camera steady for 1/4th of a second with a cold, stiff wind blowing in your face.)

Our team lost that night, and that ends their season. For the first time since 2004, they will not play in the state semifinals or finals.

Nav system: off

That car I got a couple months ago has a navigation system built in. You can see maps as you drive along. As if you didn't know where you're going already. Sort of like when I write a post or a news story.

But this time, the nav system is turned off. The maps are hidden in the trunk. The destination is unknown. I sort of know where I'm going, but not really. So where is all my wandering going to end up?

Ask me later. This is your basic unfocused, unmapped update.

****

It has been a very busy time for me at work, with the fall sports season nearing its end. The football playoffs started late in October (both the teams I cover won their first game; one was eliminated over the weekend), and the volleyball tournaments took place last week. Besides that, some local activities I am in have heated up. A local board--looks like we may have a lot of work ahead of us. Plus Halloween photos for our Nov. 9 issue.

With the baseball playoffs over, my e-reader and I have gotten reacquainted. I have been reading from time to time, but usually only about 10 to 15 minutes at the end of a busy day, when I finally lie down in bed.

My mind is already tired by then, and my e-book the knockout punch. Off to dreamland. I read, and it's interesting, but suddenly I realize I have read the same passage two or three times already. Or else I rest my eyes for a few moments. The handwriting is on the e-reader: Put the thing away and go to sleep.

Once the light is switched off, Charlie hops up on the bed and strolls up by my side. I rub her head and neck, and she often turns around and lies with her back against me. Purr, purr, purr.

What have I been reading? Among my recent books: "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (I had read parts of it before--now I've read all of it.); "Old Gods Almost Dead" (a history of the Rolling Stones); "Sex at Dawn," about the anthropology that explains why men and women are the way they are; "A Study in Scarlet" (the first Sherlock Holmes story; I had read it before--now I have read it again); and "My Life and Loves" (the first part of the Frank Harris autobiography--who says all the interesting characters date from the 1900s?).

The current reading list: a selection of stories by Anton Chekhov; "The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling" (read it once before; once you get past the 18th century style of English, it's a fun story); "Leaves of Grass" (recently started it); and "I, Fatty" (a purported autobiography of Roscoe Arbuckle, a favorite silent film star of mine).

"Tom Jones" was written about 1750, and its 18th century style of English can be difficult to cut through. But it's certainly a rewarding journey because of all the insights that Henry Fielding inserts along the way. For instance, this passage is from Chapter 9 of Book 6, describing a tempestuous argument between Squire Western (the father of Tom's love interest) and Tom.

"He then bespattered the youth with abundance of that language which passes between country gentlemen who embrace opposite sides of the question; with frequent applications to him to salute that part which is generally introduced into all controversies that arise among the lower orders of the English gentry at horse-races, cock-matches, and other public places. Allusions to this part are likewise often made for the sake of the jest. And here, I believe, the wit is generally misunderstood. In reality, it lies in desiring another to kiss your a—- for having just before threatened to kick his; for I have observed very accurately, that no one ever desires you to kick that which belongs to himself, nor offers to kiss this part in another.

It may likewise seem surprizing that in the many thousand kind invitations of this sort, which every one who hath conversed with country gentlemen must have heard, no one, I believe, hath ever seen a single instance where the desire hath been complied with;—a great instance of their want of politeness; for in town nothing can be more common than for the finest gentlemen to perform this ceremony every day to their superiors, without having that favour once requested of them.

Ooh! That is wicked! And 100% true, even 260 years later.

I am also reading a book of English fairy tales--I read them aloud to my wife sometimes after we go to bed (if we don't have other things on our minds). To my delight, it includes a certain story ("The Old Woman and Her Pig") that my mom used to read to me when I was little. I haven't seen that one for many, many, many years. Of course, I know it so well I could practically recite it from memory.

There are too many good books on the e-reader. I know I should spend much more time reading than I do.

****

In July, I wrote that my Alaskan friend, B, had applied for a job at a larger university, in a larger city. But she wasn't offered the job, and she was terribly disappointed.

Her birthday was in late September, and I sent her a few e-cards. One showed a rising sun and said "A lot can happen in a year," talking about the natural changes that take place in a year. The earth circling the sun, the seasons, new stars in the sky. Then it says, "Imagine all the possibilities this year has in store for you."

I wrote at the bottom:

I can see into the future! Yes, I can!
And I see ... oh, what do I see?
I see ... I see a new home. A new city. Yes, a new job. New possibilities. New opportunities. New growth. New discoveries.
And old friends. Like me. Who will still love you no matter where you go or what you do, who like you just as you are.
Cause we're friends. That's what we do.

About two weeks later, she was selected for a different job at the school in the big city and is moving down there now. See? Not to worry. Everything turned out just fine.

****

Also, a fast update about my friend K, who I visited last week. You will be happy to hear that her neck is feeling much better, almost back to normal, and the scar from the operation is fading, fading away.

She told me she is much happier working at ***-mart now that she has transferred back to being a cashier. She told me they asked her one day to go back to the customer service counter for a few hours to help when they were short-handed. She told them no way.

****

We had chilly weather in October and early November but just one day of snow (so far). It snowed one evening as I was driving around--not enough to be a problem on the roads, but a preview of things to come. We had a trace on the ground the next morning, but it melted once the sun rose a little, and there hasn't been any since.

The weather had mostly behaved during football season. We had some cold nights (like tonight will be), but I only remember one game with rain this season, and there wasn't that much. So I'm counting myself lucky.

****

See? I had the nav system turned off, and we wound up at our destination anyway: namely, the end of this post.

Bits and pieces

All of us have talents and skills. I like to write, and I think I'm pretty good at it. I take pictures, too.

My wife likes to make quilts, and that is one of her gifts. In recent years, especially since the kids left, she has been working more and more on quilting. We have gone to many quilt shows together.

Last September, she did something really different: She took part in a quilting retreat at a church camp on one of the lakes outside town. She took her machine and fabrics and some other tools along. Since this was her first quilting retreat, she didn't know what to expect, and she was a little overwhelmed. It was more intense and demanding than anything she had been at before. Maybe she felt a little out of her league. Or maybe she wasn't ready for the pace of the work.

Fast forward about 12 months. It's September again, and time for the annual quilt retreat. But this year, she was ready to go. About a week before the camp, we went to a fabric shop and bought a variety of light and dark fabrics for a project they would be working on. Here is what about $60 worth of light and dark fabrics looks like ...



More importantly, I think she was much more mentally ready for the demands of the retreat and the kind of intense work they would be doing. She had been thinking about it for a long time and had everything lined up. On Thursday morning, I drove her to the lake and said good-bye for a few days. (She had her Tracfone with her, but there was no signal out at the lake, so she called me from an office phone each day.)

It was already cool that Thursday, and it got downright cold that night--temperatures fell into the 20s, and we had a good frost, even in town. On top of that, the cabins where the women stayed weren't heated--someone didn't arrange to have the furnace switched on. It was already 62F (17C) inside the cabin when she went to bed that first night. But she had my sleeping bag and a blanket and a warm sweater, and she did all right. Someone drove out to the camp the next day and turned on the heat.

It was a lot of work on preparing and assembling the quilt top, mastering the putzy, time-consuming parts of the job and getting things done right the first time. The group worked on their projects through most of the camp. A lot of work. At some point, my wife decided she had done enough--she was satisfied with what she had done and would complete the project later, at home. The hard part, creating the quilt top, was done. On Sunday morning, she called me and said it was time to pick her up.

So how did the project go? Very well, and she was happy with what she had done. She showed them to her church quilting group a few days later. Here is one of the tops--Max is making sure she displays it right ...



Here is a close-up of the work, where you can see the little pieces better ...



And here is the other quilt top. Again, Max is helping out ...



To tell the truth, Max wasn't there only to help hold up the quilt. He wanted to get petted. My wife and Max have it all worked out. When she sits next to Max to pet him and rub his head, he is against her right thigh. Max likes to get his head rubbed, from both of us. Doesn't this look like a happy kitty? ...



When she sits with Charlie, on the other hand, Charlie sits on her left side. At times, she has both Max and Charlie sitting next to her on the couch, Max on her right and Charlie on her left.

But Charlie's favorite place to sit, of course, is a heated seat. It's upstairs, in front of the computer desk, where I am working on something or another. Look up, Charlie ...



Ah, for the life of a cat!

****

Even if I don't have to drive to Detroit for the Michigan high school football finals this fall, we will be going down there for Thanksgiving weekend, anyway.

That's because my older son and his fiancee called recently and invited us to come on down, partly so we can meet her parents. They are busily making plans for the wedding, which is next April.

I may have to be down there anyway for the high school finals--that game would be on Friday morning, while I'm still digesting the turkey. Our local team has reached the state finals in six of the last seven years, so they certainly know their way to Ford Field.

But the whole visit would be so much more enjoyable if I didn't have to deal with that. I've explained why in the past: If I'm down there to cover a state championship game, I'm following others' schedules, adapting to a different time zone (Detroit, like most of Michigan, is one time zone ahead of us), adapting to a different city and way of life -- and right after the game I have to quickly drive home (500+ miles) so I can work on my coverage. Let some other school and reporter have the honor!

But I need to be realistic about these things. Fate says it's totally out of my control, and I can't influence things by worrying about them. So I'll try to put that out of my mind.

****

Did I ever tell you about my new camera? I bought a little red (yes, red!) Nikon camera that can shoot stills and video, and I have been amusing myself with shooting videos over the last month or two ...



What am I going to do with the video? I am testing out video editing software. Maybe I will get into that.

Remember: I am at the very start of the learning curve--I've got a lot to learn, and I don't have any prior experience with video. But I'm a fast learner, so we'll see. First, I have to learn the software. Then I have to learn what I can do with it and how to make a good (or at least halfway decent) video.

So here I am, at the very start of Video Editing 101. Like anything else, it's a matter of trial and error, experience and experiments. Sometimes your experiment works perfectly. And sometimes the science lab explodes.

When I get a little more advanced in this endeavor, I will upload clips to YouTube and places like that, with links for your amusement. Then you can decide for yourself: beauty or bomb.

Sports of all sorts

This is always one of the busiest parts of the year for me. All because of sports.

First, the Packers and Lions are playing football, and both are doing very well this year (4-0 at the moment). Then, the Brewers and the Tigers are both in the baseball playoffs. Both teams are 2-1 right now and can end their series later tonight. (But the Brewers' game doesn't start until 8:30. :Sigh!: A late night. Maybe I'll try to grab a nap before I have to head out to cover girls volleyball.)

Then, the new NHL season starts on Thursday night. Back to Hockey Night in Canada and the NHL games on Versus. But hockey will only get limited attention until the World Series is over.

More sports is part of my job, covering the local sports scene. Work was very busy last week--I had the U.P. tennis finals, the cross-county volleyball match and the latest wins for both our football teams.

This week, not so much. I've just got volleyball tonight and then football on Friday night. Both are right here in town, so I get to save a little gas.

The big local news is that we finally have a sunny week. The last few weeks have been cool and rainy and windy, but this week it's just the opposite: Highs today are in the low 70s, and I probably could get sunburned in the middle of the day. This weather is about 10-15 degrees warmer than normal.

Our fall color is near its peak right about now. I ought to go out and get some pretty, new pictures before the warm spell ends and cool, gloomy weather arrives for a long, long, long stay.

:Sigh!: I'm not fond of winter.

Out, damned lump!

(Before you read too far: This has a happy ending!)

I have known this about K from the very beginning. I mean, how could I not know about it? It was plain as the nose on your face.

Or rather, the lump on the side of her neck. It was rather obvious.

Here's part of a picture I took the very first time we met, at a fast food place near her home--we had lunch and talked for about an hour. It was in late March. The lump was obvious ...



Since then, we have gotten together from time to time and have had some good times. Indoor swimming pools when it was cool outside. Local lakes during summer. Hikes. Drives. We like to be outdoors.

K works at the customer service desk at a ***mart store. (You would recognize the name in an instant.) During mid summer, she was having work-related problems. She had to work many extra hours because it was the middle of tourist season, and sometimes the management at ***mart only had one person manning the CS desk. Her. She would get tense. And then she made some mistakes; her boss talked to her. "What if they fire me?" she asked me more than once. "I need this job!"

***mart is not shy about firing people, especially this store.

As the work-related stress increased, her neck started bothering her, and she had problems swallowing when she ate or drank. Panic attacks, too. She became more aware of the lump on her neck, which was getting larger. Something else to worry about. It wasn't an easy summer for her.

In late July, during one of my visits, she asked me to drive her to the hospital because she had scheduled an ultrasound test and a visit with her throat specialist. I drove her there, left for a while and picked her up again. The news: The doctor agreed that her lump was getting larger and she should have a needle biopsy of her thyroid. She was worried about that. Would the biopsy, which checks just the area near the needle, miss any cancerous tissue elsewhere in the thyroid? Because, of course, that's what she was worried about.

The doctor agreed, and they agreed to remove the entire lump. Once the date was set, all she could do was wait and arrange for the time away from ***mart. That wasn't so easy--their computerized scheduling system originally assigned her to work on the very day of the surgery, even though she had applied for the time off over a month before. They finally fixed it. (She has insurance through ***-mart, which seems to cover most of the cost.)

We went on our hikes and had our talks during August and early September. The operation was one of the topics, but just one. We talked about other stuff, too--work, family, things we want to do, things we have already done. It obviously didn't get in the way of having a good time on a summer day.

The big day was two weeks ago, on the 19th. My wife and I drove down there that night, had supper with her guy and then we all went to the hospital. She went home the next day, about noon. The tube in her neck was removed the day after that. We visited them again on Thursday--watched a movie and played Uno. We didn't talk about the lump, but we sensed some tension: The lab's report wasn't due until next week.

The final word came last Tuesday during a visit with the doctor. Benign.

She had some neck pain after the operation, but it has been easing. She stopped taking the codeine pills a few days after the surgery. No doubt her neck felt even better after seeing the doctor last week. It's still rather sore, she told me over the weekend.

This Tuesday, she goes back to work at ***mart. But she has made a change there, too--she is not going back to customer service. Instead, she will once again be a cashier. It pays a little less, but it spares her from a lot of stress, and it seems like a wise decision. Let someone else deal with that.

When I see her again (maybe next week), the lump will be gone. Maybe life will start being a bit happier for her again, too. I hope so.

The battle between the ears

When we do things, I think most of us want to do them well. Some dopes don't give a damn, but most of us do. If you are proud of yourself as a person, you want to do a good job. Well and good.

But there are times when you can be too self-critical, and it's always been a hole I fall into. Perfectionism. I know I can't be perfect, but I still have a high standard for my own work, especially my writing. Maybe that standard is too high.

You know the movies or cartoons where you see people with an angel whispering in one ear and a devil in the other? That's what it's like, but at one ear it's my rational self, and at the other is my perfectionist self.

Rational Self says: Why be so obsessed with making things so spot-on perfect? Nobody cares. I'm not writing for money--people aren't paying money and expecting value in return. So if they get what I'm trying to say, why isn't that good enough? Make my point and move on.

But then Perfectionist Self starts whispering: I can write it just a little bit better. So I read it over and edit and read it over again and edit again. And so forth. I put it aside for a while, but sooner or later I open the file again, read it over again and edit yet again. Get the picture? And of course, after revising a segment of the piece, I often decide I don't like it and try to get it back the way it was. Good luck with that!

This battle between my ears helps explain why my posts have been so infrequent for months. One, I have been busy, and I'm writing other people and I'm spending time with my wife when I can (because we both enjoy that). But also, I start writing something ... and get bogged down with the vicious circle of revisions.

The funny part is that I revived my Blogger site with the idea that I can just write for the sake of writing and get some thoughts down while they're still fresh in my mind. Rational Self liked that. But often I let the ideas get stale, and by the time I am at the keyboard and in the mood to write, my sharply focused piece has gone out of focus in my mind. The points I want to make aren't so sharp any more.

Then I get frustrated and close the file and do something else. Maybe Perfectionist Self doesn't want me to write and just play games or download music instead.

That's what happened with Blogger. In recent weeks, I started a Tumblr site, with just little short insights, just a few paragraphs long. Then I realized that was exactly my intent with the Blogger site. So inevitably, I realized, the Tumblr site will suffer the same fate--Perfectionist Self would win out sooner or later.

I haven't written there since. Blogger and Efx3 are easier to use, anyway (I find).

My letters to friends are subject to that, too. But I figure they know me and will forgive me if they aren't edited just right or make sense all the time, so I don't worry about that so much. Rational Self reminds me that I want to get the letter finished and out the door, and I don't let that get in the way. Not too often, at least.

When I read (That's another thing; I have been trying to read more books on my e-reader.), I don't let an occasional obscure or confusing passage get in the way of my enjoyment. So why can't I apply that same standard to myself?

Well, it is what it is. Life is crazy--we all know that. Try to get some satisfaction and happiness in life, however you can. However I can. Don't sweat things. It'll be OK. Even if it's not perfect.

You know what? OK is OK. I try to tell myself that, because it's true.

Walking in the woods

For over a month in mid-summer, I wasn't able to get together with K. Because of this and that--her work schedule, mainly. Then she was out of town for a few days, and met an old high school friend who was visiting from Delaware. Around the Fourth of July, the height of the local tourist season, it was very busy at her store, and she was working long hours.

But since July ended, it's been a lot different. We have gotten together several times to enjoy summer and the great outdoors. Visits to some of the area's national forest campgrounds and parks provided some indelible memories. Nothing too exotic, mind you. But to us, it was fun. It was our speed.

What did we enjoy most of all? That's easy: Walking on trails near (or around) wooded lakes. These trails are for foot traffic only--they aren't speedways for four-wheelers or other kinds of off-road vehicles. So, thankfully, no background racket of revving engines except the occasional whine of a chainsaw off in the distance. The trails are somewhat narrow and hilly in places. But they are really user-friendly, especially in late summer when the mosquitoes aren't so hungry.

This is northern Wisconsin: plenty of lakes and lots of green. In another few weeks, the leaves will turn gold and red. That's another a great time for hiking. The fun times finally end; Old Man Winter arrives sooner or later and stays for a long, long while.

But that's off in the future. During late summer we had some fantastic walks in the woods. I took my camera--maybe you would like to see some of things we saw.

What we saw were the woods ...



The woods are lovely dark and deep--even when it isn't a snowy evening. On the trail, we were by ourselves, Mother Nature our only companion. A bird's song, a chittering squirrel--they provided the commentary as we walked along. Another view in the woods ...



With so much nature around and no other humans, we got back to nature, too. The weather was warm, and we didn't need much coaxing to shed superfluous clothing. Once, we took off everything but our shoes--the better to enjoy a cool breeze on a warm day while protecting our feet from tree roots. It's no big deal to us; we both like being nude, though we're practical about it. Even when we stayed fully dressed (most of the time), our clothing was loose and light.

After a while we decided to sit down, admire the lake scenery, relax and talk quietly. Time stood still. We were in no hurry. Who would want to hurry away from this? ...



A minute or two after I took this photo, as we were talking, some other hikers came along. We said hi. They said hi. On they went.

For many, many years, K had a painted turtle for a pet. As we sat looking over the lake, she spotted a turtle, making the most of a log on a sunny day ...



During last week's walk, we saw another turtle. While this one stayed mostly submerged, it came up for a look-see ...



We saw some other wildlife, too. Dragonflies were flitting here and there ...



I wanted to get pictures of loons. We heard loons calling during our first hike but never saw any. During our second hike, we never heard a loon's call. But K saw one on the lake, far, far away. My camera was able to close the distance ...



This loon wasn't calling because it had more important things to do: fishing. It would dive below the surface and disappear for a long time. Finally, it would pop back up some distance from where it disappeared.

The loon was a good angler. Zoom in on the photo above. What do you see? ...



It was dinner time--a fish was disappearing down his throat as I took the photo.

We walked on, following the trail near a bog with a boardwalk on one side. A lovely place--that's where I got the dragonfly and turtle shots. We looked around there for some time. Who's in a hurry? We sure weren't. ...



Such a nice day. So peaceful, so pleasant. We went to a beach after our mid-August hike and swam in the lake for over an hour. The water was too cool after our early September hike, and so was the air. So we simply sat on the shore by the beach (near where the loon had his meal earlier) and looked out over the water, seeing where we had rested earlier. We talked for a while, and we sat quietly.

We will probably go on more nature hikes this fall. It will be cooler, and it could be jeans-and-jacket weather. But the leaves will be in living color, posing for my camera.

Fun times in the woods, and the show's not over yet.

An amazing August

This is rapidly becoming a monthly bloggy exercise. Who knew it would come to this? But when you are writing several friends fairly often and watching TV with your partner, something has to get put on the side, however reluctantly. Yes, that's Dr. Dog's House, standing there on the siding.

It's not that there hasn't been news lately. It's just that there hasn't been time to put it all together for you (unless I want to cut and paste from my letters; uhhh, no).

Too much stuff, so I won't go into a lot of detail, but the last month (the month of August, more or less) has been quite eventful. None of the other months of 2011 can compare! So let me elaborate.

#1. We had expected this for some time, but now it is official: My older son and his girlfriend are getting married. They live in the Detroit metro area, and that's where the wedding will take place next April. They recently rented a hall (a suburban golf course clubhouse; remember, it's in April) that will be used for the ceremony and reception, and she got her dress already. Other details are being worked out ...



Happy news for us, since we will finally be getting a daughter (many years after I had my vasectomy). We like the girl, and they phone us from time to time--it has usually been every Sunday or Monday night. They live over 500 miles away, but the long, long journey won't be so intimidating any longer. That is because of #2.

#2: We have gotten a new car. We just picked it up just recently. The car has been in the works for two or three years, but the purchase went on the front burner this summer, and I did a lot of research on what I wanted to get--where and how I would get the best bang for the buck, so to speak.

First I was leaning heavily toward a Prius. Face it--I drive a lot, and gas mileage is important. Then, after I finally decided Priuses cost too much, even with the gas savings, I looked at a Honda Fit. I waited over a year for the brains at Honda to motivate themselves to build a hybrid version of the Fit. And they finally did--but they are selling it in Asia and Europe only. The Honda people running the company here in the States didn't think there would be a market for a hybrid Fit--or so I had read. So that prospect dried up, too.

I looked at the Chevy Cruze and the Ford Fusion and Fiesta. Then I started hearing about the restyled Hyundai Elantra and what an amazingly sharp car it is. I read and read, looked at YouTube videos, read reviews and finally decided that is the way I want to go. I'm not alone: Elantras are in such demand now that I had to pre-order it from a dealer about 130 miles away. That's what I did about a month ago, and it arrived last week. We picked it up on Friday. My wife and I agree: It's a nice car.

It's light blue. I originally wanted a dark/medium blue car, but then I thought it over again. The winters up here are pretty long and snowy, and I often drive at night or in low light conditions. The roads up here are usually poorly lighted or not lighted at all. In the end, I concluded that a lighter color would be a better way to go.So I went for light blue--blue is my favorite color, if you don't know.

And here it is ...



For the record, my 2001 Mazda Protege was retired with 203,000+ miles on the odometer. I bought it 8+ years earlier, when it had 44,000 miles on it.

The money? It came from funds we inherited several years ago from my mom and her parents. We had spent very little of it until now, aside from home repairs. Most of it is still invested. Besides, we wanted to do something special for ourselves because of #3.

#3. Early in August, my wife and I marked our 40th anniversary. Yay, us! We celebrated it very quietly and didn't make a big deal of it: We went out for a steak dinner that night at a favorite restaurant, then returned home and finally went upstairs to celebrate our special milestone in the usual way. Nothing we haven't done before, you know! ...



Earlier this year, we talked about the two of us going on a bus tour in Chicago in late July, but the tour was canceled--too few people signed up for it. Instead, we went to a quilt show near my wife's three sisters and visited them at the same time. Some of them, anyway. Two of the sisters aren't on speaking terms with each other. That's their party. We just try to stay out of the way.

As for being married 40 years, we don't think it's a big deal. Not really. All it means is that we are healthy enough to have spent 40 years together and that we were smart enough to select partners we enjoy being with and got to be best friends with. We aren't carbon copies of each other by any means and we have very different tastes, but we still like each other. We still hold hands whenever we can and enjoy watching TV or going for rides together. That's one reason why we thought about the new car--the old one was getting less and less reliable.

Of course, my wife and I made some major changes in our relationship over the years. Mid-course corrections. Nothing is ever perfect, but the changes we made removed a lot of tension between us. Neither of us is perfect or could ever be everything for each other. We worked out a solution that works for everyone. I'm still home, sleeping next to her 28 or 29 days a month. And on those other two or three days, she knows where and with whom I'm spending the night. No secrets. No mysteries.

#4. Most of those two or three days/nights this summer were with K. We had some fun times. Should I tell you about the day we went hiking around a local lake deep in the forest, when we both were barefoot down to our waist ... and later down to our ankles? ...



Should I tell you about the sudden shower or the mosquitoes tracking us down? Should I write about watching some dumb movies (about sexy hillbillies) with her and her guy at their place recently? Or the tailgate party (pizza!) we had while watching a Packers playoff game recorded last winter?

No, there's not enough space. But we had a good summer. I'm hoping to get together with N and S before long, too. But K lives a lot closer, and when you get as busy with work as I get, even a short escape is precious.

Coming up: K is having an operation in mid-September--she has had a thyroid-related lump in her throat, and they are going to operate on it. She will be recovering for two weeks before returning to work. That may lower her stress--she works at ***-mart, which is, she says, a very stressful workplace.

But our time together is happy time for K. And for me--adding K to my life is the best thing that happened to me this year ... regardless of that new car behind the house. We're only through August now, but I don't see that changing in the final third of 2011. We will meet again this week. First time since our hillbilly night, and I'm sure we will have fun.

But my wife and I still have fun, too, and I spend much more time with her. She made a quilt for the county fair, and it won a red (second place) ribbon ...



On Saturday night, we went out for a pizza, then watched that very same movie about the hillbillies. On Monday, we're talking about going out for a drive to a small northern Wisconsin zoo, where they have tiger cubs and other critters. She loves to see critters. Then, two weeks later, we're going to another quilt show.

Onwards and upwards. See? There's a lot to write about. Too much, at times.

Dull, frustrating, hot

Presenting, my monthly blog post. This one may never be posted. Just as well. Things have been dull and frustrating lately.

And hot. Some hot, sticky weather invaded the Upper Midwest this week, bringing along temperatures into the mid 90s and high humidity. We live in a two-story house that only has a room air conditioner in the bedroom--Janet and I have to put it in place each spring and then remove it in the fall. The door doesn't seal very well, either.

But I'll tell you, it sure has been nice sleeping during the hot spell. At about 9 p.m. each day, while we're watching TV downstairs or sitting on the porch (wherever things are cooler or more interesting), I go upstairs, close any windows that may be open, turn on the AC and go back downstairs, closing the door behind me. By the time I take Janet to bed at about 10:30, it's nice and cool (if a little noisy).

We went outside for about 15 minutes Tuesday night--light rain, but no lightning or thunder. On Monday night, we were on the porch for over an hour, watching the lightning and hearing the thunder as a storm system neared. But we only got a little rain--the system moved from the north and went west of us.

Everybody seems to be dealing with stuff this summer. Including my special friends.

B had applied for a job at a different university, in a bigger city. She really had her heart set on it: more stores, more cultural places, cheaper airline tickets, and both she and her husband have their own special friends who live nearby--within easy driving distance. She came really close to getting the job, but in the end she lost out to a gal who had worked at the university 11 years. (She was at 9 1/2 years at the smaller place.) So she is pretty disappointed.

N was gone in Illinois for a while, and now she is disappointed in an adult daughter of hers. She hasn't been specific, but it seems to be a case of her drifting towards alcoholism, and she (N) can't keep her life from crashing onto the rocks. There is a family history of alcoholism.

N rarely drinks, and she has never done so while with me. We can get wild and crazy on our own, natural highs, and booze is not needed or wanted.

With K, it has been a very busy summer schedule. She worked 48 hours one week at the store when a big country music festival was in town. The next week, she drove to her home town to see a high school friend who was visiting from Delaware. This week, she and her boyfriend are visiting the same clothing-optional camp (former farm with a pond) that I visited with S and T in late June.

(Interesting. Of my four special friends, three of them enjoy nudity. The fourth is the one in Alaska, who didn't get the university job.)

K has been busy, but it has also been frustrating that we haven't been able to get together for a visit for over a month. But that long, long wait is nearly over--we are getting together next Wednesday, for a day and a night.

Once I get home from that, the car won't have much time to rest. At about noon that day, my wife and I leave for a trip to a quilt show in NW Wisconsin. It's a roundabout route--we are hitting several quilt shops along the way, and we will also be visiting and having lunch with N--her home is in the woods just a short distance off our route. My wife has met N at least once before; in fact, it was her idea.

All that is on Thursday. On Friday, we go to the quilt show and another shop, and we also have dinner with some of her sisters and brothers at a local casino, where they have a nice spread. That will be a rarity for my wife and me; neither of us have set foot inside a casino for many, many years. The appeal of casinos is something both of us have yet to fully understand.

It's a three-day, two-night trip. Then we go back home. After that, the big project for August lies before us: We have finally agreed that it is time to get another car. The odometer on little old Mazda currently reads 201,000+ miles, and it has seen better days. And years.

The money is available; we won't have to take a loan. We know what we want, too, after a lot of research. The only problems are (A) we need to take time off from work to do this because (B) all the dealerships are many, many miles from the Northwoods. The dealerships are located in population centers. You can say many things about the Northwoods, but it's anything but a population center. There are roughly 11,000 people in the entire county!

So it's an internet search that is ongoing. Sooner or later, we'll find what we are looking for.

One more thing happens in early August: It will be 40 years since my wife and I said our I-dos. Forty years. Amazing. Sometimes we look at each other and laugh and shake our heads. For all that has gone on, for all the mid-course corrections we have made to our relationship (and, as you know, some of them were not minor), we still enjoy being with each other. Touching each other in the middle of the night. Playing. Eating together. Sitting together, watching TV or the movements of the clouds outside. I keep her informed about my special friends. She fills me in on her sisters and brothers.

Life moves on. We do, too. After we got sick a couple months ago, we agreed it would be wise to start eating smaller meals. Today, they are _a little_ smaller. But we are eating less, and that's the main thing.

Resurfacing

Wow. May 7th. That's like [quick check of the calendar] nearly eight weeks ago. And I haven't written in all that time?

In fact, I have done a lot of writing. Just not for blogs. Mainly letters (e-mails). And no, I haven't been posting updates on Twitter or Facebook, either. You could say I just sort of disappeared from the internet world.

Today, I'm resurfacing, if only briefly. Lots of things have happened. I have to summarize parts of them, so here goes.

I was very busy with work during May and early June. Maybe too busy; maybe I wore myself down. That may have contributed to everything else.

At the same time, though, I am trying to make more time for myself, my family, the things I enjoy and the people I enjoy. The biggest event over these last eight weeks came in late May, when I picked up K and we drove to Oshkosh, to visit S and T, her girlfriend. It was a bit rushed--we were only gone one night.

The visit followed the usual pattern: I took everybody out to dinner (Golden Corral) and then we went to see the new "Pirates" movie, starring Johnny Depp--S and T are big Johnny Depp fans. From there, we went to the motel and enjoyed a nice soak in their hot tub. I drove S and T to their place for the night. The next morning, we picked them up and checked out the Golden Corral breakfast buffet. Took them back home, and then K and I left for home--I dropped her off and then continued home.

Sounds routine, right? Well, wait a minute.

I got back home Sunday evening. On Monday night, I had trouble sleeping. My body's thermostat was all haywire--I was getting hot, then getting cold. Sort of like when you come down with the flu, and that's what I thought I had.

I found out later, though, that it wasn't the flu. The best my doctor and the guy at the ER could say was that I had encountered "some virus." It wasn't contagious: That was the other big thing.

In fact, it wasn't like any flu I had before. My gums were inflamed and tender, and I didn't want to eat anything unless it was very soft. Because I wasn't eating, my body got weaker, and I was feeling more and more tired. And I had a very hard time motivating myself to do anything. Serious lethargy.

By strange coincidence, my friend N had been battling those symptoms herself--she had gotten them since my last visit, and we hadn't seen each other since--we canceled several visits for that reason. She wrote that she has been feeling down and tired and very lethargic--like she didn't want to do anything. She came down with that about a month before I did, so she had a good idea how I felt when I described it to her.

The flu symptoms (feeling hot/cold, body aches) faded away after a few days, but everything else hung on for better than a week. Finally, I saw a dentist, who prescribed some antibiotics for my mouth, and that slowly started improving my condition.

My gums feel much better now, and I am mostly eating regular food now. I am feeling a lot stronger. Example: A few weeks ago, when I was feeling sick, I tried to mow the lawn, which had gotten badly overgrown, but had to stop after doing half the back yard--my son David came over and finished it. Last week, I mowed the whole lawn by myself. I was a little tired by the end, but I finished.

The long hiatus in my sex life ended last weekend during an afternoon "nap" with my wife. (I visited K a few days before that but didn't attempt anything. She had a good time, anyway.) And, let me note in passing, that neither K, S nor T had any illnesses like mine, either before or after. So maybe did I let myself get too run down?

Anyway, I am going ahead with some long, long overdue dental work. Last week, I saw a technician who did some debridement work. I also am thinking about what the illness meant and what kind of message this is sending me.

I wrote to N: "Nothing happens without a reason: that's my philosophy, so now I have to figure out the lesson behind the sickness. Maybe it's just that I ought to drop it down a few gears and take it easy more often."

She evidently has been thinking the same thing. Her reply: "It is teaching one to slow down and take stock of the major vs. minor. It slowed down for me and got the perspective."

So that is what I am trying to do: I am trying to slow down and make more time for me and what makes me happy. Not to stress so much about work and related responsibilities. If I don't get it done, the world isn't going to end. Focus instead on my wife and family and my special friends, who have all be so loving and understanding and supportive while I was feeling ill and discouraged.

By coincidence, my wife had dental problems at the same time--she had a tooth that needed to be pulled, and also had gum problems. So neither of us felt much like eating for several weeks--maybe some noodles or pasta or some rice dish would constitute a meal--that was all.

A strange thing happened. I actually liked the smaller meals. And my wife does, too. We knew that it's better for us to eat less and cut back on the meal sizes as we get older. We're both a little overweight, and with smaller meals/portions, we can reduce calories and maybe reduce a pound or two. Cut back the wear and tear on knees, hips and ankles.

My wife had her troublesome tooth pulled last week, but while we both can eat regular food again, the portion sizes have been cut back. That means some work for her, scaling back the quantities of the ingredients. But the recipes probably date from when our two sons were living here; they've been gone for some time now. And as for the box meals we use, we can deal with leftovers, which will make some lunchtimes quicker and easier for the cook.

It's good to be feeling better again. And N is doing better, too--she is visiting family down in Illinois till the end of June. We're looking forward to our next visit, in early July.

Life is good. But I need to be smarter about how I live and take a little more time to stop and smell those roses. That's what the last few weeks mean to me. For example.

For years, I have been going down to a neopagan camp in southwestern Wisconsin over the Fourth of July weekend. This year, I decided not to go. One reason: I would have to go there by myself. And I'm not fully recovered; not yet. The trip is quite long (both in terms miles and time) and physically demanding, since I would have to set up the site by myself. It was pretty arduous last year, with two people coming along.

Instead, I am taking S and T on a different kind of campout. There is a clothing-optional site (an old farm with a pond) near where they live. S loves it, and I do, too; T has never been there. Last summer, none of us were able to get there. Too busy.

So the three of us are going there this week--two days and one night. We're keeping it as simple as we can--we aren't taking a lot of camping stuff, and we can get our meals in town.

Just taking it easy for once. Relax for a day or two. Ahhh!

Good riddance to April

April is over, and good riddance.

For much of April, I complained about the super-slow arrival of spring this year. How the temperatures were so much colder than normal. How we had just a couple days of nice weather. We had highs in the 40s, 50s and 60s last April, and even a few 70s--where were they?

We're tough people up here and can deal with severe winters. But (speaking for myself), I only get down when it's spring on the calendar but winter doesn't want to leave. Like last week, when I had two track meets called off. It was rainy and windy on Tuesday. On Thursday, we had snow mixed with the rain and wind.

Everybody around here eagerly awaits the return of nice weather. The robins pecking on our lawns look mighty confused. I can almost hear them calling their travel agents: "Are you sure you booked us on the right flight?"

So we were feeling sorry for ourselves--and then those horrifying tornadoes in Alabama put our weather miseries in pretty good perspective. That's as bad as it gets--lives uprooted, cities torn apart, damage that will take many years to heal.

I don't have any friends who live there, but my friend S's girlfriend is from Birmingham. She told me that her people got through the storm all right. Things can be replaced; people can't.

****

I never wrote about my mid-April trip to Detroit, did I? In short, everything went well. It was windy almost all the time, and we drove through snow for much of the trip home--but thankfully the roads were warm enough that it melted right away. Of course, it was a very long drive--over 1,100 miles, total.

We didn't do much besides visiting my son and his girlfriend and their apartment. We also did some shopping; mainly, my younger son did. I think about the only stuff I bought for myself were two magazines when we stopped at a Borders book store. (I mostly buy e-books now, for my reader.)

Despite that, I probably spent more than anyone else, including the kids: My debit card was used for all our meals, including stops at Chili's and Red Robin, and also for several tanks of gas at $3.99 per gallon. (Since then, the price rose as high as $4.29 before dropping back to $4.19 just this morning.)

The kids (my son and his GF) will be up here over Memorial Day. That's just three weeks away now. There could be some big news coming out of that visit.

Things with K have gone very well. I visited her the Tuesday after we got back from the Detroit trip--just for an afternoon and evening; I drove back home at 9 p.m. Then my wife and I visited K and her boyfriend that Saturday; we went out for pizza and then went to their place for an intense game of Uno. My wife met K for the first time, and everyone got along well. The two couples will probably have more get-togethers in the months to come.

K and I had our own get-together last weekend. But our first overnighter will also be our last overnighter on a Saturday; my wife said wants me to stay home on Saturdays so we can do this and that (shopping, errands, etc.), and she also likes to make special meals we can enjoy together on unhurried nights. No problem. Working out these issues is just part of making poly work for both of us, and her feelings matter.

(This won't affect a trip to Oshkosh that K and I are planning late this month. Two days and one night, when we will visit S and her girlfriend.)

My friend N has been down lately. After she had to have the vet put one of her dogs down, she caught a bad cold in her throat/chest that threw her for a loop for several weeks. Part of the problem is being depressed over the cold, snowy spring weather.

But the weather is finally getting better. When I called her one sunny day last week, she asked me: One of her other boyfriends had called and asked her to go for a drive and dinner later that day. I said, Go for it! Get some sun!

She sounded so discouraged when I called her a few days earlier; now she is on the way back. She even sounded feisty in her most recent e-mail. I'll find out for sure next week.

One more piece of news. Long-time readers may remember my wife's trips to Branson, Mo., these last two years. She took both those trips without me--she wanted me to come along, but both were right in the middle of my busy fall season. And, frankly, Branson doesn't interest me.

This year, the travel agency plans a trip to Chicago in late July. It's less than a week--I'll be back in time to cover weekend events--and it does look interesting. So the decision has been made: When my wife gets on the big bus in late July, I will be in the seat next to her.

Now that I think of it, it takes place less than two weeks from our 40th anniversary. We had discussed what we can do to mark the occasion, such as a special trip, but hadn't come up with an idea.

Well, maybe now we have.

****

There's so much other stuff I could write about. It's so hard to find time, though.

Right now, I've got to take my wife shopping. Then pictures at a kids' track meet. Then my wife and I are going to Iron Mountain for shopping, a dinner and a movie. A Mother's Day observance when the restaurants aren't quite so crowded.

Crunched for time

So much to do, so little time.

Life is busy. Tonight, I'm getting my stuff together for a big trip tomorrow ... and thinking about a doctor's appointment ... and watching the first game of the Detroit Red Wings' postseason. All at once. Life gets crazy sometimes.

I have gotten away from writing (somewhat) and reading blogs, not to mention other things like Facebook. What can I say? Life is busy again.

All last week, I wanted to spend a night upstairs (at the computer keyboard, writing). But PBS was carrying Ken Burns' Civil War documentary, and this week is the 150th anniversary of the attack on Fort Sumter (which started four years of carnage, if you don't know). The documentary was engrossing and was on four consecutive nights, and my wife and I sat next to each other and watched it three of those nights.

On the second night, she watched it by herself. I was away, visiting N. It was the first time I had driven out to see her since late February. We had a nice visit, and it cheered her up--she has been down lately, partly because of spring's very late arrival. She's hardly alone.

As for the things I mentioned earlier: The Red Wings won the game and lead Phoenix in the series 1-0. The trip to the doctor is just my annual checkup. The trip is anything but routine.

This one includes my wife and son. We are driving down to Detroit to visit my son and his girlfriend. We have not visited him since Thanksgiving 2009, when I was down there for the high school football finals. In early 2010, he moved to a new apartment and a month later met a girl. Things have gone very well with them. We have met her twice, when they came up here to visit, but we never got down there in 2010--our team didn't get to the state finals last fall.

So our first family trip of 2011 is to visit them. (They live together now.) We will leave Thursday afternoon, drive about halfway there (to the Mackinac Bridge) on Thursday, complete the trip and meet them after work on Friday and spend the day with them on Saturday. On Sunday, we drive home. That's about 520 miles and 10 or 11 hours of driving. I'm the only one who drives.

Last night, I made the motel reservations. Maybe I will print up a few maps later tonight. I like to study maps and memorize what I can, to familiarize myself with the area before I actually get there. I studied Google Maps last night for a while.

So what else have I been doing lately? Many nights have been spent watching TV with my wife--movies that interest us or things like the Civil War documentary. Or else DVDs. She likes to sit with me and watch TV. Unless I'm watching hockey; maybe that's too much of a sacrifice to make. (But then I don't like Lifetime movies, either. Too many psychopathic boyfriends.) With the Stanley Cup games coming up, we could have more time apart. So I wanted to have some time with her.

One other big thing: I have been writing back and forth with my new friend, K. I visited her for the second time on Tuesday. It was the nicest day of spring so far, with temperatures in the low 60s. We had lunch, went to a local park, walked around, shook our heads over some fool ice-fishing on some very dark lake ice, sat on a park bench in the sunshine and talked for a while. Then we went to my car, for softer talk and some cuddling.

This visit lasted about three hours, and that's as far as it went. She had to go to work, and I had to drive home--I had some stories to work on late that afternoon. But it was a very good visit. The next time we get together, we're going to spend a whole day together. But not the night; I have a meeting back home at 7 a.m. the next day.

I'm not worried about that. We are good friends now. I'm very happy with how things have gone, and I think she is, too.

The slow March (and April) to spring

In late March (about a week and a half ago), I made my long-planned trip to the NCAA regional hockey tournament in Green Bay.

Of course, that wasn't all I had going on.

First, I stopped to have lunch with my new friend, K, before she went to work. That went very well. We had a long chat, then discovered there was still about a half hour left before her shift started. We drove off to a back corner of a parking lot for some serious nonverbal communication. Except for our coats, nothing was taken off, but we both enjoyed ourselves very much. This was our first meeting, so we had not kissed or hugged before.

(Things with K have progressed very well since then. I'm hoping we can meet again, maybe about a week from now.)

Then I drove south to visit my 92-year-old uncle and drop off some very old books that had belonged to my grandparents (his parents)--an ancient photo album with photos of ancestors from the old country, a Danish bible and a Danish Psalmbook. Everything was at least 100 years old. My mom (his sister) had them at her house for many years, but I want them to go to one of my cousins (his son) who has done a lot of research into family genealogy. He would appreciate them more than anyone else, I think.

Not that smart, really

You would think I am a fairly intelligent person. Well, I am. I can spell cat and mouse, and I can add 2 + 2 and make it come out to 4. I don't even need a calculator to do that! Really!

Somehow, though, I have gotten this far through life without really getting the hang of Facebook. You've heard of Facebook, haven't you?

I've heard of it, too (how can you not?), and I even have a profile there. But it's rather puny by any standard. I don't go there very often or update things. Sometimes I go over there to see what my former bloggy friends are doing (those not on efx3). It seems they are mostly playing games and trading opinions about the latest sensation on American Idol. Or, if they are not Americans, Fillintheblank Idol.

I don't watch Whateveritis Idol, I don't play online games, and I don't do much on Facebook. Not even last week, when I was luxuriating in my recently regained free time. It all got frittered away. How did I manage that?

Well, I wrote to B. I wrote to N. (I was supposed to visit her last week, movie box under my arm, but she called it off because she had a bad cold. As of our Saturday phone call, she is a lot better.) I wrote to S and T--I'll be visiting them this weekend.

And I also wrote to a new friend. This one lives about 60 miles away. The lucky letter this time is K. She is a younger woman (three years younger than me, two years younger than my wife), she works at a store, and she has a boyfriend; they are a poly couple.

We are in the getting-to-know-you phase of things now, and so far, so good. On Friday, we meet in the flesh for the first time. At a local eatery, not far from her job. We'll have lunch and talk for a while and see what happens. What will happen is this: It will be time for her to go to work and for me to hit the road. I will see more of K some other day.

(In fact, my wife, my son and myself drove down there last Saturday to do some shopping, and we stopped at her store. But K's shift ended before we got to town--I hadn't told her about a possible visit, and I didn't know her shift. K told me later she would like to meet my wife someday, and my wife would like to meet her, too. K is also curious about meeting my son, who is autistic--she has a nephew who is autistic, about 15 years younger than my son.)

There's something on my mind, though, and I wrote B about it: This will not affect my visits to N, though K lives closer to me. I wrote: "I feel a responsibility for N's happiness--she doesn't have somebody to sleep with, and K does. And N really does enjoy having me visit and spend time with her.

"I firmly feel that even when I make new friends, I will not forget my old ones. So no matter how this friendship with K develops, I will probably still visit N more often than her." As for the other 28 nights of the month ... my wife has to put up with me.

More about this week's trip: The first stop is to have lunch with K. I also have to drop off my mom's old sewing machine--my wife wants to have it reconditioned, and there is a sewing machine place in town.

Then I'm driving south about 100 miles to visit my 92-year-old uncle, my mom's brother, who couldn't make it to her funeral last fall. I'll bring along some old family treasures--an ancient family photo album and a Danish hymnal. Both are to go to my cousin, who has done a lot of work researching the family tree.

From there, I am driving to Oshkosh for two night with S and T. We'll go out to dinner and maybe shopping. No motel this time: I will stay at their place, sleeping on their sofa.

Saturday morning, I drive north to Green Bay, to watch the NCAA regional hockey tournament--two games Saturday and one on Sunday. (The winner goes to the "Frozen Four" tourney in St. Paul one week later.) After the Saturday games, I drive back to Oshkosh. Maybe we'll watch a movie that night--plans are very tentative.

On Sunday morning, I drive back north to Green Bay for the championship game and then keep going north towards home. Monday, back to work.

****

Actually, I did other things last week, too. I finished up our taxes and sent them in--both for us and for David. And I polished off another book on my e-reader: "O Pioneers!" by Willa Cather.

Now, I have to select a new book. The main candidates so far: "Wuthering Heights," "Vanity Fair" and "The Rainbow." They have one thing in common: I have not read any of them (of course, I have seen the old MGM version of WH). And I guess they are all fairly long.

If you have read any of them, feel free to give me some advice. It may come down to a coin flip.

Whoops! I just disclosed how I make my really tough decisions.

Cause to celebrate

It was an event worth celebrating. And we celebrated. In our typically subdued, understated way.

On Friday night, I "gave the cook a night off." We drove just across the border, a few miles into Wisconsin, and had a fish fry for supper Friday night. Then we drove back home, about 15 miles. We watched a movie--a Jean Harlow film from the early '30s, before Hollywood censorship started. We split a can of soda. And finally, after the kitties were fed, we went upstairs to celebrate one final, favorite way.

We both slept well.

So what were we celebrating?

We were celebrating the end of 3+ months of basketball coverage. Since the last day of November, I have been dealing with week after week of rushed, early suppers at home, extra work for my wife and at least three evenings away from home each week in mid winter. So I can follow the two local schools' girls and boys basketball teams.

It gets to be a little much, and my tolerance of basketball's demands isn't as strong as it used to be. Right now, it's something to be endured, with the slow, slow countdown to the post-season tournament.

That started last week. All four teams survived their first week, when the drives were short. This week, the distances were much longer. One team fell Monday night. Another died on Tuesday. The Wednesday game was postponed 24 hours due to a minor snowstorm, so I had two games on Thursday night, one hour and 60 miles apart. Unfortunately, there is just one of me. I still haven't been able to afford a clone.

I had thought both our teams would win championships on Thursday. At least one could. Instead, both lost. Instead of a complicated set of schedule contingencies, I suddenly will have quiet nights for quite a while. I won't have to run around to basketball games until next December. That's OK with me.

So now I have my evenings back. One thing I can do is get back to my e-reader. I have been reading late at night (usually when I go to bed) all along when I wasn't overly tired, but now I can give the books more attention.

Since I got the reader last year, I have read "Tale of Two Cities," "The Deerslayer," "Tom Sawyer," "Lorna Doone", "Madame Bovary," and "Held for Orders." That last one is a collection of stories about railroad life, from about 1900.

My current book is "O Pioneers!" Willa Cather's book about pioneer life on the prairies. After that, I'm not sure. I'm considering "Wuthering Heights," "Vanity Fair" and "The Rainbow." Since "O Pioneers!" is not a long book, I need to do some thinking about it pretty soon.

I will also be able to watch hockey more often, visit friends more often, take my wife out shopping more often and just have a life more often. That's why I like spring and summer so much. Among other reasons.

Too busy too long

All right, all right, I know I haven't written for a while. I've got my reasons.

Mainly because I get really busy in mid-winter. Like last year, I got really bogged down with my basketball-coverage duties in January, running off three and four nights a week to games during the coldest part of the year. Last week, for instance, we had overnight lows of -31 F and -28 F (-35 and -33 C), and I was out at games four straight nights. No wonder I came down with a cold on Friday.

Good news, though. The cold is nearly over. I know it is; I gave it to my wife.

Also, the subzero weather is over. The entire area was in the throes of massive cabin fever after about two months of unrelenting cold and snow. But we got into the 40s last Sunday. It cooled a bit on Monday, but Tuesday was back in the 40s, and it was mostly sunny Wednesday. When I left for the office after lunch on Wednesday, the porch thermometer read 60 F (16 C), 90 degrees warmer than the week before. Nice!

That means my mid-winter depression is nearly over, too. Some milder weather and a little sun will do that. So, too, will the impending end of basketball season. It means that soon I won't have to spend all those nights away from home. By mid March, I can do what I want in the evening after being in the office all day. That's a nice change, especially since these last few weeks have been so damn hectic and stressful.

My wife's cold arrived the day after we went out for Valentine's Day. We had talked about going out Sunday evening, but my cold was still bothering me a lot, and I had a lot of work on stories that night, anyway.

By Monday night, the paper was all finished, and I didn't have a game. So we went to a local restaurant. Alas, we should have gone earlier. We left at 5, hoping to eat and then get to a movie starting at 6. Fat chance on Valentine's Day. We had to wait. "You'd think it was Mother's Day," I joked to my wife.

Meet the furry herd

If you have read my little essays for a while, you may know about one of my special friends, N. She lives about 100 miles away from me, in far northern Wisconsin, is a widow and about three years older than me. I try to visit her every month or so. (It's really hard to get away in winter, though.)

The main event: watching movies together. We enjoy our time together.

One thing I have never told you about (or maybe only mentioned briefly) is about her dogs. Maybe you would be interested in learning more about that.

N is mostly retired and works in animal rescue--especially with spitz-type dogs, which include the malamutes, the samoyeds and her favorite, the keeshonds. Those are the dogs that are bred for the kind of very cold, snowy conditions she endures in winter. And they get plenty of snow there, out in the woods just south of Lake Superior. This is a picture from earlier this month ...



The lake-effect snows relented long enough for me to visit in mid January, and during my visit I talked to her (with my little digital recorder) about her dogs and the stories behind them. I also got some photos of "the furry herd" ...

Apron strings

"What do we eat? How do we obtain our foods? How do we prepare our foods? What do our food traditions mean to us?"

We live in a little town way up in the woods, very low population density, and we never thought a Smithsonian Institution exhibition would find its way anywhere close to us. But a few months ago we learned just such an exhibit would be visiting Rhinelander, Wis., for about a month.

It's called "Key Ingredients: America By Food." There are two traveling Key Ingredients exhbitions: The other is now touring in Arizona.

Rhinelander? That's not too far away--just 60 miles. A short spin down the road.

My wife and I had talked about seeing the exhibit during the holiday season, but the weather got cold, I enjoyed my nights off at home, and we got to watching DVDs together most nights--the onslaught of high school basketball was on hold for two weeks.

Suddenly it was January, and we still hadn't seen the show. We learned the exhibit's final day would be Jan. 21. And I had a game that night!

So on Jan. 15, the final Saturday of the show, my wife and David and I all made the trip to Rhinelander. A little shopping, yes. I took back a Christmas gift sweater that was too big. We restocked on cat food. And we went to the program, held at a shopping center where a fabric store used to be. (My wife still grieves.) ...



To complement the Key Ingredients show, local organizers came up with a local-oriented counterpart, focusing on the traditions of "the North Country."

From an introduction near the entrance: