In fact, this is something I have wanted to do for a long time.
OK, OK, I know this may blast away all perceptions many of you have formed about me over the years. So let me explain.
It happened a few weeks ago, in late October. I was going to cover a football game about 100 miles from home. The game was to start just after noon, and the weather was fairly good for mid autumn. A bit cool and cloudy but no rain or drizzle or snow. (Not like now. But I digress.)
I was going there by myself, so this was my golden opportunity: Today is the day I will go to a Gay bar!
Here comes the spoiler:
Open up Google Maps. Find the Keweenaw Peninsula. It's the part of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan that dangles out north into Lake Superior. You might think from its location that it's really cold and snowy and windy in winter. If so, you are 100% right.
Zoom in a bit. See Houghton? That's where Michigan Technological University is. On the opposite side of the Portage Canal is Hancock. Further north is Calumet. Follow me so far?
OK, now took straight east from Calumet. Zoom in a bit. Look all the way over to the Lake Superior shore. Zoom in a bit more. Not too far from the water's edge is a little town called Gay. You may have to zoom in again.
It was named Gay long before today's best-known definition of the word came into being. Right around 1900. Like many towns in the U.P., Gay was named after a mining firm's director. Joseph E. Gay explored the area in the 1890s and helped open the area to copper mining--mining was one of the major industries in the U.P. for generations. Today, all the mines are either closed or tourist attractions.
On this morning, I went to Lake Linden first (the site of the game), then turned onto Bootjack Road, then Traprock Valley Road and then onto Gay Road (also known as County Road 652) ...
If you want to get to Gay, you have to follow the Gay Road. Don't worry about toll booths or taking the wrong exit--it's two-lane all the way. Yes, it is paved ...
Along the way I passed Rice Lake Road and Gay Park Road. Yes, there is a Gay Park Road. If you find it, you're getting close ...
And then ...
... I was at the Gay city limits.
This is the main drag. It's called Main Street ...
Well, as you can see, it's not a very big place. Two long streets and several short ones. It isn't incorporated. Its population as of 2000 was just 60, and it hasn't grown since. The post office addresses are for Lake Linden. So don't ask what Gay's Zip Code is.
But yes, you can there get there from here. In fact, from Gay, you can get to many places. All roads lead to Gay ...
The old Gay School still stands, though it has obviously seen better days. For some reason, they call it Sherman Township, and the historical society is asking for donations to keep it up. Pun intended ...
Since we have touched on that, there is something entirely phallic in town. A 265-foot reinforced concrete smokestack from the old days. It still stands, straight and proud and tall. But it isn't attached to anything--the old boiler plant for the stamp mill that once existed in Gay is long gone.
(You can see the smokestack in the background of the "Gay" city limits photo.)
I drove around for a while, looking at this and that. I especially wanted to see The Gay Bar. That is its name. They have a website and sell sweatshirts that say "The Gay Bar" and all that stuff. They reputedly make pretty good cheeseburgers.
Then I found it. The end of the rainbow. My destination. Finally -- The Gay Bar ...
It was closed.
Fairly early in the day, you know. Even for a cheeseburger.
Nothing to do but drive back to my football game ...
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