The relationship game

I'm feeling frustrated. About marriage. The topic of marriage, that is.

I really want to write something about marriage, but the thoughts aren't coming together yet. I know what some of the problems are. I know how they can be resolved. But I don't think many are willing to give up control over their "loved one" enough to take the prescription. (Yes, the quotation marks are deliberate.)

I have been reading a series of blogs lately, and they all seem to do with relationships and jealousy and possessiveness. I think jealousy is a poisonous ingredient for any relationship. Yeah, it's a part of life when you're in high school or college, but at some point people are supposed to mature and grow out of it. Too many "adults" act toward their partners like they are still treading the hallways of high school.

It's a topic I want to get into, but the creative thoughts just aren't working tonight. It's pretty vast, anyway, and the Liberated Christians website makes their point a lot better and succinctly than I can.

What does Liberated Christians do? They are about "Promoting Positive Intimacy and Sexuality Including Responsible Nonmonogamy or Polyamory as a legitimate CHOICE for Christians and others / Exposing false traditions of sexual repression that have no biblical basis."

Maybe you should look it over and see what you think.

* * * * * On a related note * * * * *

I have a good blogfriend (married) who recently rekindled an old affair. She had been thinking about him long and hard for a while, confiding it to her blog, of course. Recently, she wrote, an e-mail led to a dinner out of town, and that led to them making love.

So what would you say if she was your friend? Here's what I wrote: "My sweet friend, you didn't do anything wrong. You were being true to yourself. You love more than one man, and that's the way it is. It has made you so happy. It doesn't mean you love **** any less. Love isn't like money--if you give it away, you still have a lot more to give."

So I suppose you want to ask: "What if she was my wife? What would you say then? Huh?"

I'd say something like this: "Look. She's been part of my life for all these years. She's my best friend. I want her to have anything she wants. If sleeping with someone else once in a while makes her happy, how am I hurt? If she's responsible about her feelings and what she does, then let her be happy. When she's happy, I'm happy."

I think my friend is going to be careful to keep her love life with her hubby going strong. And I think her recent encounter will resolve a lot of uncertainty in her life--yes, they still love each other. Now she has two loves. I have a hard time seeing anything wrong with that.

I'll leave it at that until another day.