Close encounter of the worst kind

I am sooooo pissed. Really.

We went to visit my mom's house and my mom today, and things had gone really well. It was a nice day, and we had a nice visit. I'll write about that stuff later.

In a few days. Once I have a chance to cool down. I'm too mad right at the moment. Really, really pissed.

What happened to turn a good day upside down? I can explain it in the two words I said to my wife:

"F---ing deer!"

Yes, it's happened again. First time in nearly two years, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I think it's the third time it's happened since I got this car in 2003.

OK, here's what happened.

Our visit was over, and we were driving home. The sun had set about a half hour earlier, and it gets dark quickly nowadays. We were on Wisconsin Highway 70, our favorite path home. Not much traffic. I had my brights on, so we could watch out for deer. I was driving at about 55 mph, the speed limit.

I was hurrying home to get my wife to a meeting of the women's group at her church. I had to make the trip to the house some time--because I have volleyball on both Tuesday and Thursday this week, I couldn't go on those days. Friday, of course, I have football. We knew my wife would be about 20 minutes late. Well, because of the events of the day, we left for home later that we planned. But it was worth it, as I will eventually explain.

I had my iPod hooked up, and we were listening to a podcast of an old radio program. It was getting towards the climax, and we were listening closely to find out what Marshal Matt Dillon was going to do about an old woman who wouldn't give up her home, which lay in the path of a new transcontinental railroad. The miles were passing.

Then, in a flash, a brown mass raced from left to right into the car's path. It was a suicidal dash. No way in hell could anyone avoid a collision. Wham!

My estimate of the time between the instant I saw the deer and the moment of impact: about a half second.

I know the drill pretty well. I had my call phone along, and I was surprised to get a 911 call out that the nearby sheriff's office could receive. It's a very rural area, after all, but they are putting up more cell phone towers around here, and I'm grateful for that.

I had my camera along, and here's the damage to the car. Not pretty ...

That's the rising moon in the background. And that piece of red on the upper left side of the smashed headlight? That's a hunk of raw meat. Ewww!

Lying in the ditch nearby, was the jaywalker who caused this mess ...

It was already dead by the time I got there. It wasn't a large deer, but it sure packed a punch on my car.

In about 15 minutes, the deputy arrived, looked at my car, radioed in my information and then gave me his card. Didn't even look at the deer. He asked me if I wanted it, and I said no. The ravens and eagles will take care of it. Tomorrow I have to call my insurance company, and then I'll go up to the collision place to get an estimate. My ballpark guess is $3,000.

The deputy pointed out the big black bumpers on the front end of his car, to protect against just such incidents. He said deer are all over the place tonight.

I know. That's why I had the brights on--the deer are especially unpredictable in fall. And there are so many of them around! They breed like crazy here in the Northwoods, and we have had a string of mild winters lately. On top of that, fewer and fewer people are hunting deer. Fewer hunters + mild winters + breeding deer = more and more car-deer collisions.

F---ing deer!

Collisions with deer are regarded as an "act of God" by insurance companies, so this won't affect my rates. But I'm wondering if we getting near the point where they decide the car is totaled. The car is a 2001 model and has 134,000 miles on it. What if they decide the amount needed for repairs is greater than the car's value? If that happens, what happens next?

The car is drivable (biggest concern: the right-side headlight and turn signal are completely smashed out, as you can see), and there are no leaking fluids. The engine isn't affected, and it drove well the rest of the way home.

But I could have gone without having to go through all this again. What a pain.

F---ing deer!