Good vibrations

(This is a "friends only" post. You'll soon see why.)

I thought life at home would get a little calmer and easier after we got back from our downstate trip.

Oh, sure!

On the Monday after we returned, my wife started/resumed her job at the local call center, where she is taking phoned-in orders for a national company with a highly seasonal business: gift baskets. She takes phone calls on an 800 number, gets their credit card info and places the order.

It doesn't matter that we're in the middle of nowhere up here. Thanks to the internet and broadband connections, orders can come from anywhere and can go anywhere. (They aren't shipped from here; bad transportation.) The customers get to talk to someone from here in the States instead of someone on the other side of the world.

She worked for the same company during the 2006 holiday season and made some nice money. To be honest, she could have had a job there all year if she wanted--but she doesn't like starting really early in the morning. (Besides, we knew we would be busy all summer at my mom's place.)

She gets home after 5:30 p.m. each day, so things have fallen behind at home, particularly the dishes. On Monday night, we both did something about it. She loaded the dishwasher, and then she tackled the hand-washing--the pots, pans, spatulas, etc., etc., etc. I played a supportive but secondary role--doing the drying, rounding up stuff that was hiding here and there and putting things away once washed and dried.

As we did this, she had on a Barry Manilow concert from the local public TV station's pledge drive, and she was singing along happily. She's my little songbird; it means she's happy. Doesn't matter that she is a little tone-deaf (and she is). When we drive somewhere, especially in summer, she finds a station she likes and sings along when they play something familiar. So she's happy. And I'm happy, listening to my little songbird sing. Even if it's to Barry Manilow.

Right now, I'm trying to decide what to get her for Christmas. She's not easy to shop for. Her typical line: "You already get me everything I want." Maybe that's so. But she can try a little harder to come up with an idea. Otherwise I have to think, and that can get dangerous.

I got her a couple things already. A blouse. A card game. A book or two we came across. This time, I'm thinking about something else, something that would help me, too. Something she would [I]never [/I]buy for herself if she lives to be 100. Something that would make her happy, I think, if she gets the nerve to try it.

Hmm. How can I say this discreetly? Why is the word "vibrator" so difficult to type? But sometimes I'm gone. Other times I'm busy or preoccupied by different things. I've got worries, too. When that happens, she can't/won't do the natural thing to relieve her tensions. It's just another negative legacy of her good Christian upbringing. Her parents were/are nice people, but they sure didn't do her many favors in terms of having a positive attitude about her sexuality. I could go on.

She does like sex with me. But if I'm not around, she won't take matters in hand, so to speak, so she doesn't get a good night's sleep. If something would ever happen to me ... she may not have another orgasm the rest of her life! Thank God I don't have her hang-ups!

So when we go to bed and she wants to play, one of my roles is to pet her and pet her, stimulating her "down there" until I finally find the magic button (which can be quite elusive) and she feels ready. I don't understand. In my life, I have had only one other real sexual relationship; you know who that is. And she is just the opposite. At times, all I had to do was stroke her side, and she'd be squirming. But these two women are poles apart in their attitudes about their sexuality. My friend is very happy with it, feeling it is a gift to share and celebrate. As I do. My wife is seems scared of it.

(I just realized today--my visit to her in Ontario was two years ago this week. I ought to send her a Christmas gift, too. But the gift she probably could use the most is the universal, absolutely-can't-fail variety.)

Back to my little songbird. What to do? Do I get something that can get her off? Would she use it? Would she even dare to touch it? Even with a finger? Even with Barry Manilow playing?

If any of you have any helpful advice, feel free to pass it along, even if in a private message. I would greatly appreciate some guidance. I just want her to be happy.

Then again, maybe I'll chicken out. Fashion Bug would love my backup plan: investing in a gift card.