Holiday leftovers

[I]This was originally posted at drdog.vox.com on Jan. 5.
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I've got a few things left over from the holidays to write about. If you read [URL="http://drdog.efx2blogs.com/31535/Good+vibrations%3F.html"]the "friends only" post[/URL] on efx2 about buying a "special" gift for my wife, you likely are curious about what happened.

Yes, I did get one--a small, unassuming one. Since I had never seen one before (except in a picture), I didn't know what to expect. How much does it move? How loud does it buzz? Will it, umm, tickle her fancy?

But because of the funeral and then my older son being here for Christmas, it didn't make its debut until a few nights later, after he left for home. We were playing around in bed, our usual foreplay, when I remembered that I hadn't given it to her yet. So I reached down to the floor next to the bed for the package.

The one I bought has a small switch on the side, and you wear in on a finger. I took it out, put it on and hit the switch. It buzzed softly.

First I tried it out on her back and shoulders and neck, rubbing her there for a few minutes. Then I had her turn around and used it to stroke her neck and breasts, especially around the nipples. Then my hand went further south, to realm sof mystery and the caverns of desire. Mmmmmmm!

It took a few minutes to work out a technique, since the bumps on the end of the "finger" are on one side. Eventually, I started finding the magic button.

We tried it again about five days later. (Remember, we're not kids; we're both in our late 50s.) That time, things seemed to go faster. By the time I reached for it, she was already ready, and the things moved along quickly. I found the good place. Then I lost it. Then I found it again.

She seems to like it, though I see no evidence whatsoever that she has tried using it herself (it's just a reach away, on a shelf). When she goes to bed, she normally does one of two things: reads a book and/or plays with one of our pussycats. Believe me, I have wondered many times how our life would be if she would play with her pussy as much as she plays with her cats.

(Sigh)

*****
Can I tell you about something else? From my father-in-law's funeral? Just a little thing that made me shake my head sadly.

It was during the church service, when the priest announced that the Eucharist (which we Protestants call "communion") would only be available to Catholics. So we sat it out. We, who sin as much any other human. We, who are sorry for our shortcomings and who depend on the grace of God. We were not welcome to the Lords' table. And while I am not particularly religious, my wife is. She may be a Lutheran, but she is relgious.

I went to church back home on the Sunday before New Year's. Usually I don't, but I didn't have to work on Sunday. The bulletin shows a different policy: "All who believe in Jesus Christ as their Savior are welcome to come forward for communion." In short, Catholics welcome.

It's like the old days, when (at least here in the States) cemeteries had separate Catholic and Protestant sections. And no doubt they believed that when they went to Heaven, there would be separate Catholic and Protestant sections. (If, that is, they concede that anyone from another faith would ever get there.)

Can you imagine a Heaven like that? Maybe they would have barbed wire barriers and armed guards to protect one section of Paradise from any perceived threat from the people living on the other side.

Religion. What can I say?