Earlier, I wrote about the first day and a half there. Before I start the report on my last full day, I want to write about the people I met there.
The people: Without exception, the people there are some of the kindest and friendliest you would ever want to know. Most of them are in their 40s and 50s, are very intelligent and think for themselves. When they feel society's rules are wrong, they have no problem ignoring them. (Before you ask, illegal drugs are strictly prohibited, and I have never seen as much as a joint there.) There are some people who are recovering, but they seem to have their lives under control (as much as anyone can say they are in control in these times).
Roughly 30 to 35 people attended this year, a little bit down from previous events--these people are not immune from financial problems and pay the same for gas as you and I do. Some are more outgoing, some are more quiet. But they seem to have a good grip on what is happening in their lives. You rarely hear about "dysfunctional" families here. Everyone takes their personal relationships and extended families very seriously.
Earlier, I mentioned the attitude towards nudity: It simply is not a big deal among people who are at peace with themselves and their bodies. More than one person said things that match how I feel: that we are all beautiful, whatever our bodies look like--young or old, fat or thin--and only by loving yourself the way you are (forgiving yourself your "faults") can you ever love others unconditionally, the way they are. Your true beauty is what's inside your heart; whether you have a loving, caring, giving heart.
In general, people wore as many clothes as they wanted to wear. Except while I got my henna tattoo, I always wore a T-shirt, shorts and sandals/shoes. Saw no evidence that any underwear was packed along. Saw no evidence that any of the women worry about wrinkles or graying hair. Saw no evidence that any of the women shave their nether parts--and many leave their armpits alone, too. These people are not slaves to fashion or fads. As I said, they like themselves the way they are.
Polyamory: I'm not sure if it's unanimous, but I'm sure the vast majority there believe and practice polyamory. Do you know what that means?
The popular definition is "responsible non-monogamy." There was a discussion of polyamory ("poly," for short) on the third day of the event, and it drew the biggest crowd of any of the talks; the most interest. I recorded that discussion (which went about 1 1/2 hours) and listened to part of it later, and what comes through loud and clear is how passionately they feel about poly; the deep commitment they feel towards all their partners; and their determination to make their relationships work.
To summarize their feeling about monogamy, it is this: Monogamy works for many people, and more power to them. But as for me, the idea of lifelong monogamy to one person just isn't realistic because one person can not meet all of another person's needs. Face it: We are all different. We are not clones. Does monogamy work? "Till death do us part"? Look at the divorce rate.
Poly can come in many forms--it's often one couple, where each partner has additional lovers they spend time with on occasion. Don't think it's easy to do, because it isn't. It takes time and patience. It takes commitment. It takes love. It takes maturity. These people have seen life, and they feel this way of living makes the most sense to them.
Saturday: The final full day of the event started quietly. My main activity during the morning was (are you ready for this?) weeding. I was part of a team that had planted trees and bushes there about two years ago, and a small group (three) of us went out to cut/remove the weeds around them. There were a lot of trees and bushes, and we only made a start at the work. With more people, of course ...
The weather was sunny and warm; the cool from the night before was only a memory.
Around mid-day, we had a discussion about the future of the campsite, which is located atop a hill in a rural area, with fields and a wooded area; the tents were set up in the woods near the field, and the circle is down a slope further in the woods. The picnic shelter is in the field, near the tents, and that's where this discussion/lunch took place. The main plans involve putting in a well so a shower building can be built someday. We have to haul in our own water for drinking, and the only shower available is a sun shower--an area is set aside for that. Everyone is looking forward to a shower facility, believe me. It will have men's, women's and mixed shower areas.
After that was the polyamory discussion, described above. Then there was a rehearsal for the main ritual, taking place that night. I took part; I spoke for our descendents.
The main ritual took place at about 7:30, and things went well--I figured out something to say. Then, the fire was built up, and some drummers got to work.
A quiet woman had arrived during my second day there. On Saturday, we got to talking for a while. After the ritual, as the drumming and dancing started, we were seated next to each other and talked some more about our lives. She mentioned how good it felt when someone rubbed her back a little while earlier, so I asked her to turn her back to me.
I started rubbing her back. Mainly the upper back and shoulders. Very softly, soft pressure from my fingers. And she was purring. Later, she turned around, and I reached inside the sleeves of her sweatshirt and started softly stroking her forearms. More purring. Once I ran the edges of my thumbnails along the inside of the forearms. She liked that too.
She had told me earlier that she did not want to have sex with anyone. That was fine. We were still getting close and having skin-on-skin contact in the far reaches of the fire's light.
After a while I looked up and saw that the last traces of daylight were gone, and the stars were out. How bright they were! I pointed that out and suggested we go out into the field, away from the fire's light, to enjoy them better. She agreed. She got a rug from her tent as we walked past. Brief bathroom break, and then we were walking up the entry road to a grassy area along the road--the same place where I tried to get the star picture the night before.
It was just as spectacular a night--sky black as ink, stars gleaming brightly. The Big Dipper to the north. Cassiopeia in the northeast. And stretching over the sky, from one horizon to the other, the Milky Way, easily visible. Along the periphery of the woods, fireflies were dancing and lighting up the night. Many fireflies. They have lots of fireflies there. Up north, they are hard to find.
We also saw a few thin streaks of light from meteors--and then, to the south, a big, bright shooting star. "Oh, wow! Oh, wow! Oh, wow!" she said. "That's the brightest I've ever seen!" Same for me.
But it was another cool night--I had a light sweater with me, too, and eventually resumed the back rub, And we talked about other things. She travels a lot, and she's into S&M. I've never experienced that (along with many other things) but know a little about it, such as the "safety" words that will stop a scenario. We talked about that for a while. She travels to L.A. several times a year for S&M clubs, and she has boyfriends here and there. She is a busy person. In her real life, she is employed in the health field.
We lay side-by-side for a while, with her head on my chest. But a breeze built up, and we both were getting a little chilled. Time to leave the stars and fireflies and shooting stars behind us--it was 1 a.m. already, and it sounded as if everyone else had gone to bed. I walked her back to her tent, we had a long, warm hug, I gave her a little kiss--she did not want a big one. After waiting for her to find her own flashlight, I went off to my tent, got inside, took my pills, lay down and was asleep within 10 minutes.
All we did was cuddle and talk (I did all the caressing, alas; she was quite content to absorb the love and affection, not giving much back). I had hopes, of course, but in the end I never stepped into anyone else's tent, and nobody stepped into mine. I was mainly focused on renewing acquaintances with the people there; the last time I had been there for any time was in 2005.
Sunday: The final day was short. I woke up early to start packing all my gear away. Too much stuff never got used, I decided. The tent came down fairly easily, and I was surprised when I was able to get it back in its zippered bag (after some squishing to force out trapped air--this time I remembered to keep the zippers slightly open to let air escape.)
A silent auction was held, to raise money for the group, and after some bidding, I won a set of reprints of the "fairy books" compiled by Andrew Lang about a century ago--as old as the 1890s. There are about 12 fairy books, and I got all nine books available. The stories are taken from various traditions; from the most familiar authors (Grimm, Andersen) to stories from many nationalities around the world. I considered it a nice find.
There was one final, brief ritual to end the event, and then it was hugs and kisses as the group broke up to head for home. I talked briefly with the woman from Saturday night's stargazing, but we did not exchange phone numbers or e-mail addresses. Maybe I will see her again next year. Time will tell.
Then, the long (six-hour) back home. I needed to take a pair of breaks for catnaps along the way, but I still got back home before 6 p.m.
It's nice to be back home ... but at the same time I'm very glad I went, and I'm already looking forward to seeing everyone again. Just 51 weeks from now.
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