A long search ends suddenly

I recognize and appreciate some of the ironies of life. Like one that came to me this afternoon: By the time football season ends (in late October or early November, depending on playoff success), snow will be flying through the air. But today, as I finished editing my Week 1 stories, the local temperature was in the low 90s.

Actually, it was a quiet Sunday, besides being a hot day. My wife and I did very little, but we got in a little practice for the start of the NFL season, in two weeks.

I had recorded the first half of the Packers' game against Indianapolis Thursday night (because I was away, covering girls volleyball). While we had lunch together (as usual on Sunday: sandwiches, in the living room), I played the Thursday night game. And, as usual, after we finished eating, she leaned her head on my shoulder ... and soon was asleep. I think I may have dozed off for a few minutes, too.

When I returned to the here and now, I turned on the Weather Channel, which claimed the local temperature stood at 96F (36C). Easily the hottest day of the year if it was true, but I don't quite believe it. Maybe 91 or so, but not 96. Later, we went out to do some grocery shopping. It seemed pretty warm but not that hot.

On Saturday, all three of us (including David) went on a shopping trip to Rhinelander. The surprise of the trip came early, on Wisconsin 70, halfway between Iron River and Eagle River, Wis., when I saw a feline figure crouching on the edge of the woods as I drove past. Definitely a feline head. Either a bobcat or a lynx, and lynx aren't that common here. Definitely larger than a cat.

I just got a glimpse of him as I drove past. I quickly stopped and turned around, but I never saw him again--my wife caught a glimpse of him (?) running across the road and disappearing into the woods. It's a densely wooded area of the Chequamegon-Nicolet National Forest, but we were on a state highway with a wide right-of-way cleared of trees and such.

Bobcats live in the woods, but I had never seen one in the wild before. More irony: The night before, I saw a whole bunch of bobcats--they were wearing the green football uniforms of the Florence Bobcats, who battled West Iron into overtime.

As for the shopping: We went to a quilt shop in Eagle River and then continued south to Rhinelander, where we stopped at a game resale place, a department store (Shopko), Fashion Bug and Penney's. We stopped at Hardee's for a drink before heading back north.

I found a few things worth buying: Several pairs of pants (including a black pair, now that we don't have Maggie any more), a polo shirt and T-shirts featuring Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix, two of my music deities. Found those at Penney's. Very good prices--sale prices with a markdown after that.

But the bookstore let me down: It didn't have a certain hardcover book I have sought for the last month or two. Yes, I could have ordered it online, but I thought I'd give the stores a chance first.

David had one last place he wanted to visit: A book and music store in Eagle River. I thought it would be closed--it was nearly 6 p.m. on Saturday--but it was still open.

I looked at the DVDs, then wandered over to the books. Hmmm. They wouldn't have that book I was looking for, would they? Would they?

I went to look. There it was! Suddenly, my search was over.

So what is this long-awaited and much-sought-after book that I just had to find?

It is called "Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality," by Christopher Ryan and Cacida Jetha. Once I heard about it, in light of my beliefs about polyamory, it quickly jumped to the top of my must-read list.

Here is some copy about the book from its website:

"On an almost daily basis we are inundated with stories about the collapse of the latest celebrity marriage—and infidelity is almost always the cause of the break up. From Sandra Bullock and Jessie James to Tiger Woods and his wife Elin Nordegren, it seems that famous couples (just like ordinary folks) struggle to keep their marriages healthy and thriving. Is it even possible for two people to stay together happily over an extended period of time? Since Darwin’s day, we’ve been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. It doesn’t, and it never has.

"Mainstream science—as well as religious and cultural institutions—have long maintained that men and women evolved in families where a man’s possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman’s fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages."

Here is a paragraph from the book's introduction:

"Deep conflicts rage at the heart of modern sexuality. Our cultivated ignorance is devastating. The campaign to obscure the true nature of our species' sexuality leaves half our marriages collapsing under an unstoppable tide of swirling sexual frustration, libido-killing boredom, impulsive betrayal, dysfunction, confusion and shame. Serial monogamy stretches before (and behind) many of us like an archipelago of failure; isolated islands of transitory happiness in a cold, dark sea of disappointment. And how many of the couples who manage to stay together for the long haul have done so by resigning themselves to sacrificing their eroticism on the altar of three of life's irreplaceable joys: family stability, companionship and emotional, if not sexual, intimacy? Are those who innocently aspire to these joys cursed by nature to preside over the slow strangulation of their partner's libido?"

To read the entire introduction and more excerpts from the book online, go to the "Sex at Dawn" website. (Wish I had seen it before typing all that out.)

****

Plans for this week: On Tuesday afternoon, I'll be visiting N--haven't had a movie night with her since July. I have football games both Thursday and Friday nights. Because it's Labor Day weekend here in the States, we have an early deadline and I have to get my section completed by late Saturday afternoon. Then we will be leaving to spend the rest of the holiday weekend with my wife's sisters in northwestern Wisconsin.

Those trips can be eventful, you know. One year, we went out and harvested a whole bunch of yummy blueberries. Another year (2002), we left for home about 15 minutes before a tornado struck.

I vote for the blueberries.