It took place at a suburban golf course on the outside rim of the Detroit metro area. On Friday, the day of the rehearsal, it rained, and the rehearsal took place inside. The forecast for Saturday said the rain would clear out overnight and the skies would clear, but temperatures were only to be in the low 50s, and a stiff breeze from the north was expected. Wind chill!
Fortunately, the stiff breeze blew off the wedding. An occasional puff but not very strong or very sustained. The sun was out, and the sky was clear. Bright, sunshiny day. ...
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Time for a flashback.
We drove to Detroit on Wednesday. It took about 11 hours and ended at our motel. More about the motel later. After such a long drive, getting a good night's sleep seemed like the best thing to do.
Thursday was quiet until late in the morning, when my son and I talked on the phone and agreed on a time to try on and pick up the tuxes. This was at a big mall on the northeast side of the metro area--we were staying on the northwest side, closer to the site of the big event. We met the happy (and nervous) couple and their best man and had lunch. My debit card ($87) went to work.
Then, off to the tux place. I tried on the shirt, pants and coat, and they all fit. They bagged up everything, the debit card came out again ($75), and I went off to put it in the car. Then back to the mall for a brief talk. But we knew they had things to do, so after about 20 minutes we said good-bye. As needed, one of us would send a text to the other. She said they were having a problem with dresses. The bridesmaids' dresses came in the wrong size, and the flower girls' dresses were the wrong length.
As for the three of us (my wife, David and I), we did some shopping in the area (Barnes & Noble, Best Buy, Target) and then went back to the motel. My wife decided on a nearby Italian restaurant for dinner. I had some ravioli and then helped her with her chicken parmesan. The debit card ($53) worked its magic again. (I should note that I spent about $140 on meals on Thursday alone--but that was the debit card's only big day.)
Friday: Nothing was planned Friday until the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner in the evening. We relaxed early in the day at the motel. But the week before, as we talked with the kids about things we could do, they had suggested the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn. My wife looked at the website and decided that's what she wanted. I admit that I was a bit reluctant. I didn't want to go on another long drive through the metro area, and I didn't want to do a lot of walking.
The Henry Ford is a huge place, after all, so you only can scratch the surface during any visit. My wife was most interested in their exhibit about cars and their influence on America. So much to see. So many amazing vehicles. And the history of car culture in the U.S.--Detroit, of course, is the perfect place for that.
We were there several hours, and then we made our way back north to our motel to change and get ready for the rehearsal and dinner. The golf course is in an upscale area, and we saw many big, expensive homes. The area was full of them. Nothing like back home, let me assure you!
The rehearsal was indoors because some rain had arrived during the day. That went well, and then we went to one of those fancy homes nearby, where the bride has an aunt who was her matron of honor. For dinner, we had ... pasties! The classic U.P. meal, which meant I was occasionally asked about the history of the pasty and where they come from. (From the pasty shop, of course!) These particular pasties came from some place in the Detroit area, not the U.P. We got to meet her family again (first time since our Thanksgiving visit last year), and then it was time to go. We got back to the motel in time to see the Red Wings' season end at Nashville.
Saturday, we did very little all day, resting and reading and saving our energies. The wedding was at 5:30 local time. (My watch stayed on Central Time, so it said 4:30.) The weather behaved. The guests behaved. Things went the way they were supposed to. You will not see this on any of those "great wedding disasters" TV shows.
The ceremony took place outdoors. About 75 people, on little white wooden chairs, faced the evening sun. The colors were white and orange and turquoise--the bridal party wore turquoise, the best men (there were two) wore turquoise vests and ties. The groom wore a turquoise tie and silver vest. The two fathers (That's me!) wore silver vests and ties. The bride's dress had a large turquoise band around it. I will not attempt to describe the dress beyond that. You can look at the pictures.
A pair of musicians provided the music on flutes. All the songs were by Lennon and McCartney: "All You Need Is Love" ... "Something" ... "And I Love Her" ...
The couple wrote their own vows. They did not promise to "love, honor and obey ... forsaking all others ... for better or worse ... till death do you part."
My son said his bride makes the world "look shiny and new" and that she "sees my strengths and overlooks my flaws." "I know you're my perfect partner for what lies ahead ... Join me at my side for the adventures that await us." (My wife thoughtfully shot video of this part, and we watched it again once we got home.)
The bride started crying when she started reading her vows and had to pause to collect herself. "Before we met," she said, "I never thought that I would ever get married--ever! And then you strolled into [the comedy club where they met] that February night. ... I love you because I know I can be my true self with you ... I love you because you always see the positive side of things."
They both alluded to the movie "Up," which had played a big role in their decision to get married. I think he proposed right after they had seen it together, with my son talking about going on more adventures together.
Then they held each other's hands, they slipped rings on each other's fingers, they kissed, and the deed was done.
Festivities moved inside for the reception, dinner and dance. They had a DJ playing the usual mix of music. Yes, they did the Chicken Dance. I got out on the dance floor with my wife, too, and she danced with several other guys, while I bought a dance ($1) with the bride. All her nervousness and emotion was ancient history by then ...
A week before the wedding, I was told that, as father of the groom, I had to give a speech during the reception. I tried to research it and started an essay the day before we hit the road. I took my laptop along, and I also put the essay in my Dropbox folder, up in the cloud.
But our cheap hotel didn't have any way to print it out, and it was long anyway. So I had to get a notebook and copy it out longhand. I had hardly any time to work on it until the day of the ceremony, when I got up early and had some quiet time.
I was the last speaker. "I feel sort of like the act that followed Jimi Hendrix," I told everyone.
"I am Philip's dad, and, as such, I am one of the bit players in this production--essential, of course, but basically just eye candy and comic relief. But as the closing act, you should be glad to see me. It means the speechifying is nearly over and the DJ can so0n get back to work."
I talked about many years ago when I met a girl on a blind date. "Things happened, and a few years later Phil was born." I talked about reading "Frog and Toad" to him in toad-talk and later battling him in "Mail Order Monsters," a Commodore 64 computer game.
"Each of us would select some ugly critter, endow him with special talents, outfit him with the latest cutting-edge tools of destruction and then set them loose on each other. Mayhem ensued."
I talked about the summer when the two of us drove down to universities "below the bridge." "That was another adventure we shared--and one of the last. Now I had to let him go. It wasn't easy."
He graduated, found a job, an apartment and his own identity. But he couldn't find the one thing he wanted most of all--a girl of his own. I talked about all the times I tried to encourage him, telling him that the right girl was out there ... somewhere.
And finally he found her. I wrote about when they visited us for the first time a few months later and a talk she and I had on our porch one evening. "When we were done, I knew that this day would be coming soon.
"So this is a happy day for my wife and I. After 40+ years, we finally have a daughter."
Advice on how to become "old married people, smiling and watching your kids find happiness"?
"There is no magic formula. Just enjoy the day. Enjoy your life together. Be kind. Enjoy the little things. Make time for each other. Be honest. Communicate. Focus on the good. Always remember that you love each other. Be strong. And always be best friends....
"Life is a journey. Enjoy the trip. And have fun."
The dancing and the rest of the reception ensued ...
We had to make special plans to return the tux--they wanted it back the next day, and I didn't want to drive across town to the other mall just to drop it off before starting the 11-hour trip home. The best man agreed to take it back for me. I took my street clothes and the carrier bag along in the car and changed towards the end of the reception.
But I forgot to take off the cuff links, which were gifts from my wife many years ago. I alerted my son with a text message, and he later assured me that they had been rescued and would be mailed to us.
Sunday morning, it was all about the long road north. It was mostly sunny and clear ... at least until the sun set, when we still had about 90 minutes left on the road. But the cats were happy to see us again. Charlie hopped into my lap and purred, and she came over several times that night--she would visit, go away and came back later. Somehow, I got a little sleep. I didn't sleep well, but I slept well enough. Monday, I was back in the office, trying to catch up on things and put the paper together. Routine life had resumed.
Life goes on. Most days are routine like that. But not a few Saturdays ago. That was a very special day for a very special couple ...
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