Don't like to make them. Had to make one this week. About whether I'd take a long trip today. Or not.
It's Saturday morning, and I'm here in my office typing ... so there's your answer.
The decision-making process weighed many factors. Weather. Distance. The price of gas. The price of a motel. My energy and endurance. New friendships with people of a similar philosophy on life. My wife.
On one side ...
The event was in southern Wisconsin, at a private place where they hold neopagan gatherings. I was there twice last summer and was there for a workbee in April. The people are nice, around my age for the most part and have a similar philosophy about love, affection, poyamory, the human body and moral issues. They are very moral ... just not the way most people are.
Today, they were to hold a Beltane celebration. It would have involved meeting and greeting, enjoying time together, a Maypole ritual (which I have never experienced and badly want to), a pot luck, a fire, maybe some dancing to drums and music later on at night. Very laid-back people just enjoying themselves and life.
Bright, festive clothing was highly encouraged, and it's clothes-optional anyway, so if the weather was nice, the brightly colored clothes seemed destined to be thrown off to the side. Everyone has a birthday suit, so we'll wear them. We're all at least middle-aged and not as "pretty" as we once were. And all of them feel like, "So what?"
And, if you're wondering, no, I've never seen or smelled any illegal substances at these events. These people believe in natural highs.
All of those things were on one side of the balance. On the other side ...
The gas price here is town is a fraction under $3 a gallon. My car gets 37 mph (has even topped 40 mpg) on a long drive, so that's not a major issue. But the place is about 280 miles away. Six hours each way, some of it on an interstate but much of it on country roads, too. After my April experience, I vowed not to make such a long journey on one day again, so I'd stop at a motel on the way home.
My wife had been there before, at another one-day event last year, at the tail-end of a vacation. She was OK with the nudity, but she's extremely shy about her body--something I'm trying to get her to unlearn. I'm also trying to help her unlearn the things we've all been told about marriage and love and monogamy. I've told her everything about the friends I have met. Change is not somthing that happens overnight (strict Catholic family), but it's coming along. She sees that I'm the same person I've always been, treat her the same as before, and she seems good with it. I'd like to get more into that other world--and have her come along with me. She's my best friend, you know.
I had offered to take her along with me on this Saturday trip. She hadn't made a final decision but seemed to be leaning towards going--even when I told her we'd have to leave no later than 7 a.m., which is way early for her. ("I can sleep in the car.") So we were going. Except ...
The weather has gotten cooler here for the last few weeks. Last week, we had lots of rain. The rain tapered off this week to occasional showers, and it was still noticably cooler than normal. So, for the last week, I had been watching the weekend forecasts closely. They were on the fence. And stayed there. Friday, they were predicting that conditions would cloud up in early afternoon, the wind would kick up from the west, wtih showers. Temperatures would be around 70.
From here on, we go to educated guesses. My guesses were that turnout would be lower (about/under a dozen). It would be sunny but then cloud up later. A little breezy. My guess is that the colorful clothes would stay on and disappear under jackets or blankets. The rain would come, but it wouldn't dampen festivities that much. But things would wrap up earlier.
Weighing everying in, I decided to stay up here and go for a much less ambitious trip--a little shopping journey, about 60 miles away, to a place we haven't visited that often. I want to look for some shoes and some other things, she has a place or two in mind, and there's a good pizza place just south of town that we both like. We'll get home in the evening, maybe watch a movie and then head off for a good night's sleep.
For Plan B's, that's not too bad. I'll be real sorry I didn't take the other trip, and maybe the weather will be as nice for them. I hope it is. But my decision has been made, and that's the way it is. No regrets. We move on. It's life, and tough decisions are part of it.
* * * *
For what it's worth, I think May 18 last year was my first entry at Modblog. Much to my surprise, I'm still writing. OK, I abandoned Modblog for a better place here, but I'm still writing. Maybe not as often as I'd like, but I'm here. That's because of all six or seven of my regular readers. You know I just write to release feelings and emotions and try to relate my life's adventure as well as I can. The humdrum and the hectic. The everyday and the exotic. All parts of the journey of life.
Not sure what I wanted to say now. It's just nice having you around, listening. I'm a good listener when someone has a problem, and I try to give them good advice--some of you know that. But sometimes the listener needs someone to listen, too.
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