Since then, there has been precious little chance to collect my thoughts and write something. Sunday morning, I had to be back in the office, catching up on the writing that had gone unwritten since I last set foot in there on Wednesday. Then, my wife's sister visited from her home in northwestern Wisconsin--she was going on a camping trip by herself further north. I visited with her for a while and then went back to the office. Sunday afternoon, we both dozed off on the couch. Then we had to do some shopping. Then my son visited, and we watched "Bicentennial Man" with Robin Williams.
By now, the heat and (especially) humidity had passed out of the area, and it was good sleeping weather. It was for us. We got tired early.
Monday, I was back at work, putting the paper together. Then, at home, my wife made her first meal in a few days (chicken), and after that we sat together on the couch and watched "Out of Africa," a good, romantic story, close to three hours long. From there, we fed the kitties and then went up to bed for a little serious snuggling of our own.
That's how we spent our anniversary. It was
Details on the trip itself in a day or two. Tonight I'll probably have enough time to work on pictures, and I've found that things go quickly after that.
Anyway, it's nostalgia time. You don't live with someone for as long as we have without learning a lot about each other and how we tick. Our little games--fun things we do with each other. Helping each other along when one of us has problems.
The latest problem is my wife's knee. She stumbled on the sidewalk while running errands last week (the day before our trip) and banged the knee on the pavement. It's still a little swollen and bruised--it never got that bad. But I have to watch it when I'm around her. For instance, when we're on the couch, I'm usually on her right--the side with the achy knee. When I stand up, I usually put my hand on her thigh/knee to push myself up. So I've got to watch that for the time being.
And yeah, we have our squabbles, and sometimes I get mad, like I did early in July. But it doesn't last long. We know that--especially now, with both the kids gone--all we have is each other, and we can either make it hard on ourselves, or we can be easy on each other, forgive and forget. The decision is pretty simple.
We keep on developing new rituals. One of the newer ones is sitting on the porch--either front or back--at night, enjoying the evening air, watching the traffic (when in front) or the stars and the occasional critter (when in back). Few mosquitoes have been around this summer, since it's been so dry. So we sit out there, enjoy the breeze and cool off before bed. Not sure if that will continue, now that the weather has cooled off.
She said she's had a good time this summer. We've made a lot of trips. Madison. That trip, to the neopagan event. The Indian museum. The wildlife park. Last week's odyssey.
We have a few more still to come. This Saturday, we're both really looking forward to attending a powwow about 40 miles from here. The county fair is the weekend after that. After that, fall sports starts up, and my summer will be over--much, much busier after that--but we're going to visit her family over the Labor Day weekend.
How did we get together? Ah, let's turn back the hands of time.
We graduated from high school in the same year--about 25 miles away, which is some distance in the suburban Milwaukee area where we were both raised. She never had a boyfriend in high school. I had a couple girlfriends, but none of them got very serious--too shy. Neither of us went to college in the year after high school--we both got jobs. I was planning to enter college in a year.
In August, about 14 months after high school graduation, I got a call from a high school classmate, a girl from my class. I rather fancied her--she was relatively short, had long hair and biggish boobs. She was working with someone at a fabric store nearby ... and would you like to go out on a blind date with her, me and my boyfriend?
At that point, I had no real prospects. I had been with two girls since graduating. One (from a church youth group) had been with me on a drive. We were out in the country, and we found a secluded place to do some kissing and hugging. Nobody around except for the mosquitoes. I learned later she had a boyfriend. But he was away in the service, and she was probably just lonely for him and wanted someoe to hold her.
Another girl was also from my high school class and was also in that church youth group. One night we got to holding hands. I drove her home. And I told her that I wanted to see her again. She gave a noncommital answer. Don't exactly remember what she said. But I do remember kissing her hand. And she kissed mine. And then we kissed each other.
I tried over and over to call her over the next week or two, but never was able to. It was always one thing or another. A few weeks later, she was driving a bunch of us, and a little brother's question let the cat out of the bag. "Do you think [name] will ever call again?" "I don't know?" she replied. She didn't say anything else, but she didn't have to. She was still nursing a broken heart over a lost love and wasn't ready for another boyfriend yet.
I decided to wait a couple months and then cautiously approach her again. But while I was waiting, my other classmate called and asked me on a blind date. And I never called Mary again. And I often wonder whether she found someone else to love.
Anyway ... on this night, they picked me up, and then we drove about 20 miles away to her place. Picked her up there, and then we went back down into the city. (A lot of driving, true, but you've got to remember that it was 1969, and gas was just 33 cents a gallon!) We went to a recreation area, riding go-karts and took our swings at a batting cage. Went somewhere else.
Then we went down to the lakefront on Milwaukee's northeast side and walked along the Lake Michigan shore. This girl's arm was hooked in my arm. Then the long drive home. At some point we started kissing and hugging each other. And the other girl asked with a laugh, "Are you having a good time?"
At her place we said goodnight, exchanged phone numbers, a final kiss, and they drove me home. I called her on the following Tuesday and suggested seeing a movie together that Satuday. (I think it was Elvis' movie, "Speedway.") We went out that Saturday. And the next Saturday. And the next Saturday. And ...
About two years later we got married. I was 21, and she was 20. Now I'm 56, and she's 55. Shortly after we got married, we started joking that we would be married for 100 years--and maybe another 100 after that. In early December 2004, I took her by surprise. I proclaimed the day as our "one-third anniversary." She was puzzled until I explained--one-third of a century had passed since that early August afternoon.
This year was our 7/20th anniversary, but I don't think it has the same ring.
So we have a history. We know what love is. Neither of us owns the other, and we allow each other to wander, as long as we wander back together again. Neither of us is perfect. We both have our weaknesses. But despite everything, our bonds are strong and are still strengthening. Like that first walk along the beach in Milwaukee, we're still touching each other and holding hands a lot. That's our normal behavior. That's what we do.
Oh, and the classmate of mine who introduced us? She eventually got married and had a few kids. But I don't really know if it worked out for her. A mystery. We lost touch with each other in a few years.
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