I've written about this in two letters last week. It's no secret, and now it's time to officially spill the beans about a newsworthy phone call we recently had with my older son.
The phone jangled while my wife and I were watching a movie together in the living room. My son, of course. But it wasn't the usual "checking in" call. After some preliminaries, he got down to what was on his mind: Would it be OK if he visits us over Memorial Day weekend? Oh, by the way, he plans to take a girl along.
[Side note: I'm using the term "girl" because she is a generation younger than me. In point of fact, she is a mature, fully grown woman, and I'm very aware of that. So just don't get hung up about "girl," OK?]
Two or three months ago, he moved into a new apartment in the Detroit metro area. His old apartment was located next to an expressway and only had other apartments and condos nearby for company. Rather a sterile environment. Now he has moved closer to the city, further from the office, to a more urban area that seems to have tons of things within walking distance. Clubs. Restaurants. Stores. Shops. The feature that caught his attention the most was a comedy club he likes to visit--it's just a hop, skip and jump away from his new digs.
Shortly after moving in, he went out to meet some friends at this club. When he did, he discovered that a girl had come along with them. After all his attempts to find a GF via various dating websites, including several pay sites, it just happened like that. Surprised?
So they met, they got to know each other, and since then they have been hanging out, going out regularly and spending time together. As well as I can remember, she works in a mail room for a downtown law firm. (He told me, but the details are a bit fuzzy.) He had told us a little about her during an earlier call, but we were still taken a bit by surprise.
But it's about time. My son is 33 now and has been looking. But he is shy by nature (inherited it), and that hasn't helped the search. Plus, he can rationalize self-defeating behavior with the best of them. So we have had to be patient. So has his grandmother. For years, my mom has been hoping he would find a nice girl he could be happy with.
While they're up here, he told me, he wants to visit my mom at the nursing home and introduce the girl. If my mom understands what's going on, this news will make her very happy indeed.
I'm happy, too. I've always wanted him to find a nice girl, a good girl. I mean a girl who is good for him and who is nice to him. I definitely don't want her to be "good" good or "nice" nice. I want her to have flaws and imperfections. I want her not to be afraid of living and new experiences. I want her to interpret the world her way, not the way some authority figure or celebrity-maker decrees. I definitely don't want her to be a saint (or to think she's one). I could name names.
I want her to be a good friend for my son, first and foremost. And he to her, too. Hopefully, best friends. Someone he can open up to. Someone he can enjoy the little moments of life with. Someone mature enough to know that money and possessions never makes anyone truly happy or content. Someone wise enough to know that she doesn't know everything. Someone smart enough to keep learning new things and giving herself new challenges. Someone sexy enough to know that she is sexy just the way she is. Someone loving enough to give her love freely.
I'm really looking forward to meeting her. We've never had a daughter, you know.
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All this could change my tentative plans for later this year. I have always suspected that once my son finds the right girl, things might move ahead quickly. So maybe there will be a wedding later this year. Or maybe not. I don't really know how kids decide these things nowadays. But I trust them, and I trust them to make the right decision.
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Other notes.
I have been watching a ton of hockey lately. Maybe too much. I stepped back a little Monday night and watched a documentary with my wife. For a while. Then she went to bed, and I watched most of the West Coast game.
Gee, that volcano in Iceland is sure making an ash out of itself. There's a volcano in Alaska (Mount Redoubt) that blows off ash from time to time--I have teased B about that. But if that thing ever blows, we in the States will have the same fun that Europe is having now, with its air routes closed until the skies clear. Won't that be a mess!
We had a really quiet weekend. On Wednesday, it's back down to see my mom and ride with her to the doctor. The usual. Thursday, I'm back in that same neighborhood (the very same street, in fact) for a track meet.
The weather remains warm for this time of year and extremely dry. The weather authorities just put this area in a "severe" drought zone, confirming what we had suspected for some time. We have received only 0.36 inches of rain since the start of March. Normal for us is 1.7 inches in March and 2.2 inches in April. So that's less than 1/10th of normal rain so far.
No rain in the forecast this week, either. And it's been really warm for spring. The global warming skeptics keep carping about the cold when we have a normal spell of winter weather. They haven't been saying much lately. Small wonder.
Hey, I also heard from my friend in California, who said a trip out her way would be just fine. She's got a spare room and some ideas on things she could take me to see. Now I have to see if I really can get the time off. That's always the tricky part.
But it sounds like an open invitation, so if 2010 doesn't work, 2011 may.
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