They came back upstairs to say good-bye. A final hug or two, and then they were gone. It wasn't even 7 a.m.
Thus ended a short but eventful visit by my son and his girlfriend over the holiday weekend. They started the long, long trip north Friday night by bucking heavy traffic escaping the Detroit metro area for the first extended weekend of the summer (didn't get as far that night as they wanted). They called about mid-afternoon Saturday when they got to Escanaba (putting us both one hour from Iron Mountain), and we agreed upon an exotic rendezvous: Hardee's, home of the Thickburger.
We got there first and ordered a soda. About 10 minutes later, we saw his blue Prius pull into the parking lot and roll past our window. "Here comes destiny," I said softly to my wife. They climbed out of the car and walked inside.
He had painted only a vague and sketchy picture of the girlfriend--little more than her name--so we had plenty of gaps to fill in. But first things first: They were hungry--they hadn't gotten lunch yet--so we talked as they ate.
What is she like? Well, she's a girl. She wears glasses. She is five years younger than my son (who is 33). More importantly, they seem to be happy together and enjoy being close and touching one another. She seems like a very nice girl and a happy girl. So those are two more things in her favor.
After the snack, we went to visit my mom at the nursing home. As luck would have it, she had broken her glasses since our visit just two days earlier. (Actually, one of the screws had worked its way out of the frame and gotten lost, so that lens won't stay in place.) So she couldn't see very well.
But she understood what was going on when my son introduced the girl. For a while I had to run around because of the glasses, but I finally was able to join them again. My mom had tears in her eyes as she first looked at my son and then at the GF. For years, she had been hoping that he would finally find "a nice girl," and now, well, it seems to have happened. So it looked like emotion to me.
By the way, my wife and I started referring to them as "the kids" as we discussed the plans before the visit. So when I mention "the kids," that's who I mean.
My younger son rode down with us to meet them. Indeed, he seemed to be doing his best to prevent any chance of a serious, adult conversation all through the visit, and he nearly succeeded. For the trip back home I tried to trade him for the GF, so she would ride with my wife and me. My son said he's happy the way things are--no deal.
We got home, they carried their stuff up to the spare bedroom, and we went out for a late dinner--a local restaurant, where we had pizza. It was amusing to see both of them texting away on their smartphones while sitting next to each other. They told me sometimes they text each other when they're at the same place, sharing private jokes and "insights" (not always complimentary) about what was happening around them. So were they trading such private insights about us?
We finally were able to drop the younger son off at his apartment after the pizza--it was getting late. The kids sat with us for a while back at home. Earlier, I had gotten the impression that she likes classical music, so I had lined up something I thought she would like: a DVD of "Allegro Non Troppo," an Italian movie that is much like Disney's "Fantasia," with animation done to classical music. I was right about the classical music, and I was right about the movie; she seemed quite interested.
As fate would have it, though, the DVD never came out of its box. It was a short visit, after all.
We did watch a few Warner Brothers cartoons with themes of opera and classical music. They seemed to enjoy them but were getting sleepy. It had been a long, busy day, and they had done a lot. There is such a thing as sensory overload, after all.
Sunday, they slept in: We didn't see them downstairs until it was late in the morning. Meanwhile, our younger son, who said he would come over at about 1 p.m., arrived shortly after 11 a.m. I was starting to think of him as a tick, for the way he was trying to attach himself to them while we were hoping for some "alone time" to talk with them and get to know her. Grrrr.
It was warm and sunny on Saturday, with highs in the mid 80s, and it was sunnier and warmer on Sunday, with highs in the upper 80s. The kids were gone for a while, as he "showed her the sights" of town. That consisted of the one and only shopping plaza, the largest food store in town, the largest department store in town and then a drive off to the largest county park.
The group gathered in the living room later in the afternoon to watch the pilot of the "Lost" TV series. The three spots on the couch and the two chairs were all filled--but then Maggie (the 17-year-old cat) entered the room and started yowling for her chair, which David had parked himself in. So I yielded my chair to him and went upstairs to work on the computer.
Just before supper, I came back down and showed them some short films on the topic of love and men and women getting to know one another. "These are spiritual films," I told them, "but they aren't religious films. Nothing to be afraid of." I think they liked them--they were short (15 to 20 minutes long) and easy to take.
For supper, we did something we haven't done for a long time--we had a cookout. Our old propane grill isn't in good shape, but it worked well enough for me to cook up some brats while my wife made potato salad. I cooked nine brats--we ate seven of them, and two were part of our lunch Monday.
After supper, I took some photos of them, as I had promised my mom. As I did that, they told my wife and me the story of how they met. A lot of good old 21st century serendipity was involved.
It seems my son had gone to a favorite place in his neighborhood for karaoke, and then he went to another place that he really doesn't like so much for more karaoke. A friend of his from a social website (Foursquare) was there, and so was this other girl. They talked for a while.
About a week later, the three of them met there again, and this time he started talking to this other girl. And they got into it; they talked for several hours. Eventually the other woman left, and my son later drove the other girl home. She said the thing that really impressed her was that instead of just dropping her off at the curb, he walked her to her door. Just a little thing. But it meant a lot to her, and she was impressed by him being so considerate.
That started it, and things have gone on from there.
During Sunday night, opportunity knocked. I realized that my other son can't be everywhere at once; he was watching TV, and the front porch was unoccupied. First, I talked to my wife out there--we like to sit out there on summer evenings. Then I had my son come out.
We talked a little about his GF and about the visit, but mostly we talked about his car. I'm thinking hard about getting another car, and I wanted to know whether he thought the Prius was working out well for him. He said he's happy with his car and is glad he got it. And he also said he's happy with how the visit had gone.
Then I sent for the girl. We talked about the weekend. I told her that my son is a lot like me in many ways--he is quiet and shy and tends to keep a lot of things to himself. Yes, she said, she is well aware of that by now. I told him how depressed he seemed to be when I visited him last fall for the football finals. Didn't seem to have a lot of interest in life.
But since then, his world has changed a lot. In February, he moved. The old place only had other condos and apartment buildings for neighbors and freeways beyond that. The new place is in an urban neighborhood, with shops and clubs and restaurants all over. Many places within walking distance. Not too long after moving there, they met.
That was two or three months ago now. They're still getting to know each other; this was their first long trip together.
I really don't remember all the things we discussed. We must have talked for the better part of a half hour. This and that. She told me how she feels her life started changing for the better soon after she took a Lenten pledge this year to swear off all the "jerks" in her life and deleted them from her phone. Shortly after that, she met Phil. She told me that she is as serious about him as he seems to be about her. That made me happy.
The bottom line is that, as I wrote before, they both look very happy. They enjoy being together. They enjoy touching each other. They look a lot like my wife and I did about 40 years ago. So they appear to be off to a good start. That's what we had hoped to see.
As for the future and all those ancillary issues that can get parents in a dither ... my wife and I are in agreement: They're old enough and smart enough, and they care enough for each other. So we trust their judgment to make the right decisions as they move along, venturing deeper into the unexplored territory known as love ...
****
Later on Monday, I happened to see that Detroit was getting hit with heavy rain. Up here, nothing--it was sunny and highs in the upper 70s. Nice day--the kind we wanted for the visit. All things considered, things went very well, weatherwise and anyotherwise.
Would you believe it? Our younger son came back yet again on Monday and hung around most of that day. He brought along a list of places he would like to visit this summer. One trip is to the Wausau area and to see Jurustic Park. He also wants to go down to the Detroit area to visit his big brother. My wife and I have been talking about that. We last visited him in '07 or '08.
We ate the two leftover brats and leftover potato salad for lunch on Monday. For supper, it was pasta and meatballs. For lunch on Tuesday, it was leftover pizza. Notice a trend?
I had been hoping she and I could go upstairs for a "nap" Monday afternoon, but the only nap that afternoon was a solo act. An anticlimactic end to a busy, very interesting weekend.
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