Bouncing through February

Don't ever think that I don't enjoy writing for this blog, because I do. Even if I don't have a lot of time for it.

What's more, I'm egotistical enough to think that everyone on the planet wants to know all about the life of a sports writer in his early 60s who lives in a little tiny town far off in the woods and who lives a (mostly) quiet and (mostly) boring life.

But it's the only life I've got, so I've got to make the most of it.

Winter always gets me down. In January and February, it mostly involves endlessly bouncing basketballs and high school kids. Some of the teams are good (some are excellent), but to me it's a way to bridge the gap from Christmas to spring. Spring and summer: That's what I am looking forward to.

I would enjoy basketball more if I had the time to get to know the kids better, 'cause I like being around them. I enjoy their energy and unique perspectives on life. And I respect them, too. You're damn right I respect them.

(Whoops. Getting sidetracked there.)

But I'm looking forward to spring and summer. In April, of course, is my son's wedding. I found out recently that I will be wearing a tux for that, so I have to get measured for that. Isn't that going to be a sight? I keep thinking about "trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear."

A week ago, we went to Iron Mountain so my wife could look for a dress--she went to a women's dress shop. I dropped her off there, then took my younger son for some of his shopping. Then my phone rang--she was ready for me. When I got to the shop, she showed me several dresses she had tried on. She really liked two of them, but she wanted to "think it over" for a while.

This is standard procedure for her--she has a hard time making up her mind when it comes to buying something. (Even though it often means that by the time she finally decides, the decision has been made for her--it's no longer available, even if she now wants it. I'm glad I can make decisions and not dither so much!)

So the wedding is coming up.

Then, this summer, one of my big events will be taking K to the neo-pagan poly camp in southwestern Wisconsin that I have attended several times. When I told K that it's clothing optional, she was even more interested than before. First, she likes to be nude. Second, she believes in poly. Third, for some inexplicable reason, she loves me and is eager to go camping with me this summer. We visited several forest campgrounds last summer, but just for hikes, not camping. K loves camping but hasn't been able to do that for many years. Now she has found a friend who also enjoys it: me.

To say we are both eagerly looking forward to this ... It's going to be amazing. The entire event is five days long. We will only be there for three days and two nights (including the four-hour trip there and the four-hour drive back home) because of our jobs, but you can bet we will make the most of the time we are there.

****

With Valentine's Day just past us, you may be wondering how a poly person handles it when he has both a wife and a very close girlfriend.

K and I agreed: Valentine's Day is strictly for our spouses. We may send each other a silly e-card or two, but that's all. (I'm driving over for a visit Thursday afternoon. I should be back home by 10:30 or so.)

Don't know what she did with her guy, but I got a couple cards for my wife. We'll go out to dinner to mark the day. (Delayed: I had a game on the 14th.) Last weekend, I took her to see "War Horse," which finally reached town. Just as many tears fell as when I saw it with K about two weeks ago. It was that kind of movie.

Here is one of the cards I got her: I thought it was especially good:

A guy and a gal are sitting on a couch, and there are little hearts all around. The guy says, "Y'know, I've always loved that thing you do--that one special skill only you seem to have ..."

(And then you open the card ... )

"I call it, 'the ability to put up with me.'

"Happy Valentine's Day"

****

Meanwhile, I have lost one of my other poly friends ... in a sense. S and I are still friends, but she is not in an open relationship any longer.

That isn't going to be easy to explain. Bear with me.

As you may remember, S lives in Oshkosh with her girlfriend, T. I met S at that poly camp in 2005, and we have been close friends ever since. But all along, her wish has been to add a third person to their relationship. Originally, this third person would have been another woman, to be with her and her husband.

That's how T entered the picture about two years ago--as a potential "third." S and T quickly became very close, but S's husband didn't care for her. In the end, S chose T and moved in with her. The marriage wasn't in good shape to begin with, and this led to an amicable parting of the ways.

Since then, S has been looking for a "third" to join her and T. I was never a candidate, and I never sought to be: We all know that I live too far away, have deep roots up here and wasn't going to leave my wife.

Recently, S passed along some big news: They have found their "third." He is a man who lives about an hour away. They got to know him, IM'd, texted, e-mailed, finally met, and both S and T agreed this is the person they were looking for. He moved in with them recently.

They are going to be a "closed" triad, which means I will still be close friends with S but no more than that. In other words, no more sex.

They think he will find a job in the Oshkosh area, which will be something very different for them. They will have someone who can bring in a regular paycheck. S and T have been verging on poverty so long that I help them from time to time, especially at Christmas. That's what you do for a friend. That's what I do, at least, and I don't worry whether I am being taken advantage of. I don't have a lot of money, but it's a lot more than they do, and I believe in helping the people I love.

This is very happy news for them. And for me. It means my friends will have someone there to take care of them and look after their happiness. Economically, they should be much better off. And I'm looking forward to the day when I don't have to help them any longer. Suddenly, that day seems a lot closer.